Episode 281
281: [LIVE SHOW] Navigating Modern Love: Dating in the Age of Apps
In this lively episode of About That Wallet, host Anthony Weaver dives into the complexities of modern dating, exploring how financial habits intersect with romance. Joined by a dynamic panel of experts, including Joy Coffee, Raima Carpenter, Dee Dee Patterson, Nia Adams, and Free Green, the conversation spans a variety of topics from the etiquette of first dates to the influence of social media on relationship expectations.
The panelists share their insights on whether men should pay on the first date, the importance of aligning values in relationships, and how to navigate the world of online dating apps. Dee Dee Patterson, a dating and relationship coach, offers valuable tips on creating an attractive online dating profile, while others discuss the significance of traditional dating norms and the impact of social expectations.
Listeners will also enjoy a candid discussion on the role of physical attributes, such as height and other characteristics, in dating preferences. The conversation takes a humorous turn as the panelists share personal anecdotes and experiences, highlighting the importance of authenticity and self-awareness in finding the right partner.
Whether you're single, dating, or in a relationship, this episode provides a wealth of perspectives on how to approach love and money in today's world. Tune in for an engaging and thought-provoking discussion that challenges conventional dating wisdom while offering practical advice for building meaningful connections.
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Subscribe, rate, and share to help others find valuable insights. Until next time, happy venturing!
#AboutThatWallet #Dating #Relationships #FinancialHabits #ModernRomance
Transcript
>> Anthony Weaver: Welcome back everybody to another exciting
Speaker:show, the about that Wallet, the podcast where we
Speaker:help you build strong financial habits so that you can be
Speaker:successful and build that confidence and spending
Speaker:money, talking about money, uh, or even dating
Speaker:with money. So that's one of the topics that we're talking about today
Speaker:is how to date and it's modern era
Speaker:with these apps and all this fun stuff.
Speaker:But we got to get this going, you guys.
Speaker:So without further ado, let's get this
Speaker:intro and then we't kick it off. Let's
Speaker:go.
Speaker:You're listening to the about that Wal podcast.
Speaker:Will be right back after these messages.
Speaker:Oh, that's my short one.
Speaker:I'll be right back. Hold let me find my right one
Speaker:your're listening to the about that Wally podcast.
Speaker:Will be right back after these messages.
Speaker:Low credit score dragging uh, score bo by
Speaker:smart credit helps you maximize your
Speaker:score by showing you exactly how much you need to pay
Speaker:off and by which d to gain the most
Speaker:points. Pay less and gain the most points the
Speaker:fastest. You can start just for $1. Click
Speaker:the link in the bio. Save thousands, don't
Speaker:wait.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Even the best and the brightest this world has to
Speaker:offer. Have coaches and mentors build strong
Speaker:money making behaviors by applying financial
Speaker:concepts and strategies. With Anthony Weaver
Speaker:on the about that Wallace show, it's time to get
Speaker:off the bench and get in the game now.
Speaker:Here's your host, Anthony Weaver.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Welcome. So we have an
Speaker:exciting show today. We have so many people on
Speaker:this panel. Um, I'm actually
Speaker:excited about all of this greatness and it's
Speaker:a lot of femininity in here, but I'mnn hold it
Speaker:down for the fellas. It's all right though. We go and get it
Speaker:in. So I want you all just to kind of give
Speaker:quick rundown your name, uh, your
Speaker:at so people would know who you were to follow you
Speaker:and then you know, just kind of quick one or two
Speaker:sentence spel about what you're all about. So let's
Speaker:go, let's go right to the top. Hey, let's go. Start with Joy.
Speaker:How you doing, Joy?
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: Hello everyone. I am Joy Coffee Withee Joy talk show
Speaker:podcast. You can find me at Coffee with Joy across everything, of
Speaker:course, my website, the
Speaker:coffeewoodjoyow.com if you like to be a
Speaker:guest. We're always looking for guests where we normalize the difficult
Speaker:conversations. So excited to see everyone. So excited to hear
Speaker:everyone. Looking forward to your message. Until then,
Speaker:we'love to have you on our show.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: All right, Rahema.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Hi, Rahema Carpenter. I'M a personal and leadership
Speaker:coach. Instagram, uh, mohawks and
Speaker:pearls. And, uh, I help people to
Speaker:achieve their personal, uh,
Speaker:professional goals. And I, uh,
Speaker:look forward because I want to go and have coffee with Joy.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: So that sounds like.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: All right. Thanks. De.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Hello, I'm De Dee Patterson, and I'm,
Speaker:ah, a dating and relationship coach. So I've
Speaker:been happily married for 14 years. I
Speaker:love being married and I met
Speaker:my husband on a dating app. And
Speaker:so I like to leverage dating apps to help women
Speaker:find the love of their life. And the best
Speaker:place to find me is in my Love and Dating
Speaker:Secrets Facebook group on Instagram.
Speaker:You can find me Edee Patterson with a zero
Speaker:because someone took the O in my name,
Speaker:so it's a zero. And you can find me on Instagram,
Speaker:too.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: All right, Nia.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Hey, Dr. Seif.
Speaker:Um, I'm Nia Adams, the Money
Speaker:Moves motivator. You can find me
Speaker:at Money Perspectives Everywhere. Feel free
Speaker:to like and subscribe on YouTube.
Speaker:Um, I help women overcome money
Speaker:mistakes and transform their spending habits to achieve
Speaker:wealth.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: You're very modest. Like, you do so much more.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: I don't want to call forever.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: I got you. What's going Free?
Speaker:>> Free Green: Hello, beautiful people. My name is Free Green. I'm the
Speaker:CEO and founder of Gay Street Society. We are
Speaker:your financial safe space, helping you develop
Speaker:clarity, confidence as it pertains to your
Speaker:money.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: All.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Uh, right. All right. And, um,
Speaker:last but not least, gotta always give you your ad horns
Speaker:because you. You always get on me for not giving you
Speaker:those.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: I really like Air Horse, y'all. They get me hype.
Speaker:Um, something to do with growing up as a millennial and,
Speaker:like, the sound. We were here in the club.
Speaker:I am J. Steven, founder of Rich Like
Speaker:My Melanin, where we transform complex
Speaker:financial topics into easy and actionable plans.
Speaker:I am going to put it out here very front
Speaker:upfn. Please don't expect me to be the dating
Speaker:expert. I have a program
Speaker:I teach called no Romance Without Finance.
Speaker:Um, and it teaches principles on
Speaker:how to have healthy money conversations
Speaker:in relationships. But, like, don't expect me to tell you
Speaker:how to date, because if I had those answers, like,
Speaker:I'm just putting myself out there today. But I can tell you
Speaker:what to do once you get to the point of, you know, actually
Speaker:wanting to build good foundation financially for your
Speaker:relationship.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Awesome. And I think that's everybody,
Speaker:right?
Speaker:Sweet.
Speaker:All right, so, uh, I really wanted to talk about
Speaker:this topic, uh, mostly and pretty much
Speaker:put this panel together, mostly because a lot
Speaker:of people talk about these first Dates. And
Speaker:some people are just getting out of the dating game or getting back
Speaker:into the dating game. And this stuff is, uh,
Speaker:it's not easy from what I hear.
Speaker:And so my first
Speaker:question is that I put up, even though my social media page
Speaker:is should guys
Speaker:pay on the first date?
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: I'm going to answer.
Speaker:So I believe that the guy should
Speaker:pay. Even if the woman acts I. He should just
Speaker:start off the right foot where the guy should pay.
Speaker:But I tell the women that I coach
Speaker:that don't. You don't have to order a stake.
Speaker:Be nice, because you probably won't get a second day if you
Speaker:ordered the highest thing on the menu.
Speaker:So, yes, I believe the guy should
Speaker:pay. Don't go Dutch. Let
Speaker:him be like the provider for the first date. Probably like third
Speaker:or fourth date in, um, the woman can pay back
Speaker:and, um, take him out. But I do believe that guy
Speaker:should.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Pay on the first date.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Anybody else?
Speaker:>> Free Green: So let me add on to that. There's a kind
Speaker:of philosophy that I live by. I'm not a dating
Speaker:coach, by no means. I'm just a single
Speaker:woman out here, you know, trying to find my partner and find
Speaker:love. But one of the principles that I kind
Speaker:of just use as a guide is similar
Speaker:to when those folks that are working in
Speaker:corporate America or when you go to, like, a team dinner
Speaker:with your work and there is maybe a partner or
Speaker:director or SVP paying for the dinner, you
Speaker:kind of leverage what that person
Speaker:selects. So, for example, if they say, hey, I'm, um, about
Speaker:to get the table wine, like, okay, we have in wine,
Speaker:right? You kind of use, um, the
Speaker:gentleman or the lady or significant
Speaker:other person you're going on a date with as what are they getting?
Speaker:You know, is it salad? Okay, what might do a salad, right?
Speaker:Or are we doing surfing turf? Okay, cool. Let's turn it up then.
Speaker:Do surfing turf.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Right.
Speaker:>> Free Green: Um, so that's kind of how I do it. But then also,
Speaker:also, I always bring my
Speaker:own cash because in
Speaker:the event that, um,
Speaker:it's not going how I wanted to go,
Speaker:I'mnn say, check, please pay for my half and get
Speaker:up out of there. So just some, um, initial
Speaker:thoughts.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: All right.
Speaker:I mean, go.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: For me, it has always been standard that the guy
Speaker:pays for the first date, but also the guy is typically the one
Speaker:who invites me out for the first date. So it's kind of
Speaker:like that's the person who initiated the
Speaker:date and it kind of goes along with it. I
Speaker:typically am not the one asking out for the first date. So in
Speaker:my experience it's always been the guy paying.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Okay. I mean that I
Speaker:think my oh
Speaker:quote.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: I was going toa say if you are not a traditional
Speaker:woman, do not try to act like he should be
Speaker:traditional too. I think that is
Speaker:um, I think about
Speaker:from the perspective of uh, you know, my
Speaker:boys and how would I want them to interact people
Speaker:now I do want them to be in a position to
Speaker:provide financially and I do appreciate that.
Speaker:Um, I also think
Speaker:women should pursue men um, not
Speaker:that there's zero times that you might be, you know, women might not
Speaker:be the one to ask somebody else. Maybe if you do
Speaker:then I would say expect to pay uh if I I mean
Speaker:I haven't been on a first date in like decades
Speaker:because I'm married. But um, if I
Speaker:asked him to go somewhere um, I
Speaker:would do so within my budget and I would expect to pay.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Things.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: May I hop with a few opinions? Um, I was
Speaker:going to be quiet because I fel like this question for an
Speaker:like unnecessarily has the black community in a chokehold. I don't know
Speaker:why but like every three months we're like who should
Speaker:pay for the date? And like that he
Speaker:doesn't do this and if you don't make him his plate
Speaker:they're like these don't forget the 50
Speaker:like we really can't get past and I don't know
Speaker:why we think there needs to be this like monolithic like we
Speaker:all agree this what needs to get done because no two
Speaker:relationships are right. Having said that,
Speaker:I think the for the first date
Speaker:but it also took me
Speaker:um time to feel comable comfortable
Speaker:with what I would accept for first date. So
Speaker:I know this is go going toa be ironic
Speaker:maybe I did not think coffee was the first
Speaker:dayate I now do. It took me a minute to get there
Speaker:um, because I I've been
Speaker:working in big corporate
Speaker:companies when I was earlier in my dating life
Speaker:and these companies we had coffee all
Speaker:the time for free and we had like
Speaker:coffee for work meetings. So
Speaker:when someone would ask me on a coffee date
Speaker:for me it was just automatically make me think of work.
Speaker:That person didn't know that that was not their fault. It was
Speaker:not their responsibility to deal with
Speaker:like the PTSD from work that I'm carrying where
Speaker:the scent of hazelnut makes me go like u.
Speaker:I had to realize and this is why therapy
Speaker:growth is helpful. I had to realize
Speaker:like coffee is legitimate first date. It
Speaker:helps you get time to know someone and then
Speaker:get in and out. Um and because of that
Speaker:I dated when I was in my early 20s.
Speaker:Um, and because I was. I'm from the south, my family'from the south, and
Speaker:we have this whole notion that you're, like, you're supposed to be married young. And then
Speaker:I'm glad I didn't get married young. It was,
Speaker:um. And so I took a long gap from dating. I mean, so long
Speaker:that I'm quite sure I would qualify to be on, like, one of these reality shows where
Speaker:they dramatically say, like, never had a relationship in 10
Speaker:years. Like, that would always be the caption under me whenever I came on
Speaker:screen. So when I finally started putting myself back out there and
Speaker:dating and working on, like, uh, this is
Speaker:black only dated. No, no, you can stay winning
Speaker:here. Welme
Speaker:all. Um,
Speaker:we. When I finally put myself back out there, I said I would do the
Speaker:coffee and everything, and it's been perfectly fine, and I've enjoyed
Speaker:it because it's really not about, like, how much someone spends. It's
Speaker:about the chance to get to talk to someone, get to know some things.
Speaker:And in the time it takes you to finish coffee, you can decide, like, h.
Speaker:Do I want to linger and act like I'm still drinking this coffee, or
Speaker:can I just, like, book it and head out and say, ah, you know, I
Speaker:got somewhere to go? Um, also, one thing
Speaker:a guy did that I was like, now, that was a so of flex. Um,
Speaker:this was many, many years ago.
Speaker:But, um, I knew the
Speaker:check was coming. I've had one guy who went out of his way to let me
Speaker:know. Like, he picked the check up. Let's say this was the check when it came
Speaker:to the table, and he tapped it in the center of the table and said, now what
Speaker:do we do about this? Mind you.
Speaker:Mind you, this one of the worst dates I could give y'all. This is not
Speaker:about me. But, like, we have a whole episode. The top 10 worst dates I've
Speaker:had. This was our first day. This guy,
Speaker:and he did this at a happy hour date
Speaker:where we only, like, the total bill was $15.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: He really.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: And m. He ate almost all the food off my meal on my plate. I
Speaker:was starving. And. And
Speaker:then, um,
Speaker:I met him because I repaired his ha.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Red flag.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: So I knew he had.
Speaker:Wait, I teach your taxes, sir.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: I know you.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: And so I was like, if we have to do something, then we
Speaker:could split these $15. Like, here's 10.
Speaker:And even the server looked at us like, she looked like,
Speaker:um. So that was one where it was like, red flag. Then the
Speaker:Green flag if you have one to like, oh wait, here I have a
Speaker:green flag that we can fly
Speaker:across. Not
Speaker:saying men have to do this, but I was like that was subtle. It
Speaker:was this guy. We went to um, some restaurant, a nice
Speaker:restaurant for lunch and after we
Speaker:finished eating, I kept sitting there thinking like the bill hasn't come. But
Speaker:I didn't want to be rude and say, you know, we need to leave.
Speaker:He evented and then he said, are you ready to go? And I said, uh, yeah, but we
Speaker:haven't paid like I. We died in a d. And you know, I
Speaker:get um. And he
Speaker:said, oh no, before we got
Speaker:here I. He just said he called and put his card
Speaker:on file. Or like he conveniently went to the
Speaker:restroom at some point and said, you know, this is for our table
Speaker:and cashed out. And I never even saw the bill. I said, oh,
Speaker:now that was smh. Not saying guys need to do that. Not trying to put
Speaker:that pressure out there. I'm just saying those are very opposite extremes
Speaker:of the. I'm going to put this bill in front of you. Make sure you see it
Speaker:versus the. You don't have to worry about this. My, I want to just take
Speaker:care of you tonight.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Oh man.
Speaker:Okay,
Speaker:that opens up then like, you know, on these dates a lot
Speaker:of guys will say, well what do you bring to the table
Speaker:then? You know, and I always thought
Speaker:about it as a sidear. Uh, uh, it was like I would
Speaker:never ask that because I didn't have anything to bring
Speaker:to table. Why you have legs to put on the table like
Speaker:what you. I was like, because my first
Speaker:date, it was like you go to the park and
Speaker:walk around that was free. Like so I'm here for the free
Speaker:stuff. Uh, you know, if it was a coupon or
Speaker:groupon or something.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: Well, you know, I think social media has really put a crutch on
Speaker:um, dating, right? Has really taken the simplicity out of
Speaker:dating. Really made it that we have to go to these five star
Speaker:restaurant to really be on top. To not even. You
Speaker:don't even know the individual to even say that if it's quote unquote,
Speaker:even if it's worth to be with this individual, not to say the person
Speaker:is worthy but it. Social media has really
Speaker:put this big crush and put this facage that hey, we
Speaker:must do this. The simplicity is the best because this is where you
Speaker:get to know the individual. Going to the park, going to the coffee.
Speaker:I remember listening to this panel and the guy says, you know, uh,
Speaker:I. If you If I got to take you to a coffee that. If I
Speaker:got to take you on the coffee, then I guess I'm not worthy, you're
Speaker:not worthy or something like that. And of course,
Speaker:everybody has answers. Everybody has some type of,
Speaker:you know, they have everything. Which guy got the second
Speaker:thing?
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Friend?
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: That's a question.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: Yeah, you want to answer?
Speaker:Go ahead, Jay.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: I'm putting it in the comments interrupt
Speaker:you Jo. Uh, go
Speaker:ahead. But I put it in the.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: Oh, no, you're good. It was just to bounce off with Anthony. You know, it's just.
Speaker:I think social media is really a strong player in this
Speaker:where it's really just taking the simplicity out of a
Speaker:simple relationship. People think they have to and that's where it
Speaker:goes back. Who should pay, you know, where. You know,
Speaker:now you have these people who just, um, I'm not
Speaker:men per se because I'm heterosexual. No, no
Speaker:offense to, you know, to my Alphabet people. But
Speaker:it's really just, hey, no, they want to feel like
Speaker:they want to say, sit on the same throne. And
Speaker:it's. It's not that, you know, it's like, why can't we
Speaker:just go out and enjoy. It's okay. I mean,
Speaker:but like free say, hey, inna make sure I'm
Speaker:taken care of. So decide if you want to go left. You
Speaker:could play the fool if you want to. You can end up vi by yourself. I'm
Speaker:out the door. But again, you know, it's really
Speaker:just taking the. Some social media has taken the simplicity out
Speaker:of simple things that were relationship. I mean,
Speaker:going on a date is what it looks like. Just enjoy the
Speaker:individual. People don't talk. Like, now I know you all probably saw
Speaker:with Halie and her boyfriend, I guess whatever
Speaker:situationship they broken up. It's like, come
Speaker:on, did y all even thought about being with, you know,
Speaker:being together? Here it is. It's like, now we made a baby,
Speaker:now we're not together. It's almost like the norm and it's.
Speaker:You want us as people to accept that. So
Speaker:it's like really just going backwards.
Speaker:>> Free Green: Yeah, I think I.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: That it's based on the person. I don't feel any pressure
Speaker:to do any of those things. I'm
Speaker:definitely a do me type of person. And with each
Speaker:relationship, I don't need anybody to tell me
Speaker:what role is whose role. And I do
Speaker:it based off, like we decide what we're going to
Speaker:do. But I agree with Jay, like, it's the
Speaker:5050 conversation. It'what are you bringing to the
Speaker:table? It's the first date. It's
Speaker:the um, I'm trying to think of the
Speaker:top, the top five U uh,
Speaker:just hot topics that are so controversial and to me
Speaker:honestly it's just another way to divide.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: Oh yeah, big time.
Speaker:>> Free Green: Yeah, I'll say if, if a guy asked me
Speaker:what I bring to the table on our first date,
Speaker:that lets me know that you are chronically online
Speaker:and you're probably tuned into some
Speaker:podcasts that I don't watch and
Speaker:so we probably ain't compatible
Speaker:do together. Because my
Speaker:answer is going to be I am the table, the
Speaker:legss, the napkins,
Speaker:like all the things. And that it's not from a
Speaker:perspective of like, oh, I'm just this independent woman
Speaker:because I've had my, my uh, personal
Speaker:evolution with that phrase as well.
Speaker:But it just lets me know that like we're not starting
Speaker:off from the same place intellectually
Speaker:and like our intentions and while we're having this first D.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Personally, I completely agreeely.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Yeah, if I had a red flag, I would be pointing
Speaker:it. If a guy said that is a big red flag.
Speaker:He's not ready for a relationship.
Speaker:Because one of the biggest parts of
Speaker:falling in love is what can you do for the other person? Like you
Speaker:should be thinking about what are you doing for the other person.
Speaker:But if he's me focused, he just seems like
Speaker:a selfish guy and it's not going to go well in
Speaker:marriage or any type of long term relationship. So
Speaker:that's just a big red flag of a guy is what are you going to do for me?
Speaker:He has a wrong attitude for falling in love and being
Speaker:in a relationship.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: So.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah, we got a comment from Erica. She said I'm
Speaker:good with the ice cream dates. Like.
Speaker:>> Free Green: I have a running joke on um, my YouTube channel that like I'm
Speaker:an ice cream connoisseur. So I like ice cream
Speaker:dates, coffees. I'm very adventurous. Like, let's go
Speaker:skydive. Like I want to get to the point where I
Speaker:can observe you and understand like how you
Speaker:are in addition to the conversation. But I learned more through
Speaker:observation because uh, you could tell me anything but I want to be
Speaker:able to see how you are in certain scenarios and
Speaker:situations.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah.
Speaker:So what are some, some good places for dates then?
Speaker:You know, especially in 2024.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: I think it depends on the person. Um, it's
Speaker:a matter when you're having those initial conversations you can find a little
Speaker:bit about each other and you'll pick something that will
Speaker:resonate with both of you all. You know, typically you have Those get to know
Speaker:you conversations, you know, before you go out
Speaker:the first time. That's the perfect time to figure out oh,
Speaker:oh, she likes museums. We can go to the museum.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: O she.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: You know what I mean? Like something that relates to the people and
Speaker:not what society feels like.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: You should go PR Gotcha.
Speaker:Nobodra. O that's Somebody said the
Speaker:library.
Speaker:All right. So you know, because
Speaker:coming to like some of these adventure dates
Speaker:and stuff like that, do you feel like, I mean obviously you get to know a little
Speaker:bit more about the person but also how do they show up for the
Speaker:event because they know where they going at versus like you go to a
Speaker:identner date. They might look nice, you know, from waist
Speaker:up, but down bottom, the shoes
Speaker:ain't shoing in the um, pants ain'tucking or
Speaker:something. You know. How do you.
Speaker:You gaue that as well? Like did they really prepare? Did they go
Speaker:out, you know the R was the REI
Speaker:and get some hiking boots or something like that for, for the
Speaker:hike or did they go to Nike
Speaker:outlet to get some shorts for you? I mean did
Speaker:they give you a water bottle when you show up? Like
Speaker:would those things be a green flag for you?
Speaker:No. Adventurous dates.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: I think they will show their into it. If they like
Speaker:if they bring supplies and things for me for whatever
Speaker:activity we're doing. I feel like they put some thought and we're being
Speaker:considerate of me. They could have showed up
Speaker:with nothing. Like you ready?
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: Right?
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: I.
Speaker:>> Free Green: That's a bonus. You got a good attitude.
Speaker:If you got a good attitude attitude about it in terms of
Speaker:like you're excited to meet me. I'm excited to meet you. Like I'm excited
Speaker:to get to know you and the vibes is the
Speaker:same. Like you show with water. Okay, cool. So
Speaker:like let's go do. Let's go have fun. Let's go do what we about to do
Speaker:and because particularly when it comes to adventure stuff and
Speaker:like with a little bit of competition because I'm not
Speaker:super competitive. So I oftentimes like to go on
Speaker:competitive dates to see like are you going to let me
Speaker:win or are you going toa try to like
Speaker:really win? Because I'm like m.
Speaker:Yeah, you got it. I'm not that
Speaker:soe.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Yeah, I don't like movie dates for a first date.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah, you can't talk on them.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Yeah, exactlyactly. That's the point. You
Speaker:can't ah talk. So we just sitting in the movie.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: I talked during movies. That would be bad for me.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Uh, yeah, I'm Pretty sure people in the movie
Speaker:theater might have a problem with it.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Yeah, I like fun dates because it
Speaker:just puts you in a'relaxing. You're not like all
Speaker:stf. So any type of fun date is good. I
Speaker:saw the library. I don't know about that because you can't.
Speaker:Again, you can't really talk in that one. And I actually
Speaker:like restaurant dates. I know some people are like, oh, that's too
Speaker:boring. But you get to talk to them and get to know
Speaker:them. And that's like one of the
Speaker:biggest, most important thing about, um, dating is getting to
Speaker:know another person. I like that you can do that in a restaurant.
Speaker:So anything fun and relaxing because
Speaker:you just. That's what we have to get people to do is to relax
Speaker:and not be so, like, nervous. And those fun
Speaker:dates is a way to get people to relax.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah.
Speaker:And before you even get to the dating, because
Speaker:deed dee I'mn to lean into your strong su
Speaker:here, which is setting up that online profile for
Speaker:these apps. So, you know, since
Speaker:you're like the queen of setting up these apps,
Speaker:can you give the people that are listening right
Speaker:now, uh, some kind of takeaways
Speaker:that they can kind of enhance their online
Speaker:presence for dating?
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Yes. I love this topic.
Speaker:Are the things. So the main things I
Speaker:say is when we talk about
Speaker:pictures, dress your best. I know some women
Speaker:think, oh, you should see me in my natural environment
Speaker:or something. No, just like an interview. Just
Speaker:look your best. Have dresses, nice
Speaker:clothes, and then have a body
Speaker:shot and a face shot.
Speaker:So make guys, they want to see your body, so
Speaker:they, they want to know what you really look like.
Speaker:Also have a face shot. Some of the profiles I
Speaker:looked at, one of the first things I saw, it was like,
Speaker:you're frowning, you look mean. So make sure your
Speaker:pictures are smiling. Make sure you look nice and friendly.
Speaker:So guys want to pick you. And
Speaker:the biggest mistake I'm seeing in a
Speaker:bio is that they're
Speaker:too negative. Like, they would start up, I
Speaker:don't want any guy who does this. I don't want any guy who does that.
Speaker:Use your filters instead of putting
Speaker:those words because you just seem like a negative person.
Speaker:So a lot of no smoking, no short guys,
Speaker:no, none of this. And that just turns guys off. But,
Speaker:uh, when you're talking in a positive way, this is who I am
Speaker:and this is what I'm looking for.
Speaker:The things you want instead of I don't want this,
Speaker:I't, um, that makes a profile
Speaker:better. And the women who, once I change their profile
Speaker:from the no smoker. Know this, know this. And I
Speaker:change it to a more positive one. They're getting way more
Speaker:quality matches. So that's the biggest
Speaker:mistake I'm seeing when I see people's
Speaker:profiles.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Wow. Well, thank you for that one
Speaker:because, you know, I hit a lot of people trying to
Speaker:utilize these platforms. I could tell you that I was negative
Speaker:from my tender profile.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Say Erica comment is clutch.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Which say comment is very important.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: This one, I can't tell you how many men they got their high
Speaker:school football pitcher on their
Speaker:profile. So you are 50.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: That is o make sure you're.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: That is not you. I don't know who that man is, but it is not
Speaker:you anymore.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Yes. Make sure the pictures are current. That's a big
Speaker:one. It is. Yeah.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: But they apps, aren't they the abs anymore it.
Speaker:So they become more of a business. You know,
Speaker:people are solicening, they're asking for things. You're
Speaker:genuinely going on there trying to hopefully you could match
Speaker:find that mate or hopefully that mate find you. But in
Speaker:reality, this person is an entrepreneur hoping that they could find some type
Speaker:of call girl or you know, quote unquote, trafficking. You
Speaker:know, they set it up very nice. You know, that's the
Speaker:catch. Right, Right. And it's
Speaker:really. You're not on here for that.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Agree.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: But that's what it's turning over. And now apps are
Speaker:making people pay because with the intent of paying,
Speaker:you would think you will get quality people. Right.
Speaker:But entail people just pay hoping that they can find
Speaker:more in a certain, um, certain area
Speaker:outside of dating. So me personally, I, um, am
Speaker:not the person for the app. So I mean the data apps
Speaker:to me is completely just, it's gone bonkers.
Speaker:And nowadays and excuse me, um, you know, I'm not a
Speaker:cursor, but I guess I just want to call the FBC the fuck boy
Speaker:coalition. It's like,
Speaker:you know, they really trying to find when you are a
Speaker:woman, you know what you have, you know what you already have, you know, and
Speaker:I'm not saying, hey, I'm up here looking for Benzo, whatever,
Speaker:not I am but you know, hey, at least let us
Speaker:come equal. You know, I'm not trying to get over on you and I'm hoping that
Speaker:you're not trying to get over on me and a lot of men. I'm not saying
Speaker:it's all but a lot of men are um, on there hoping that they could find the e
Speaker:scapegoat. They're trying to see if they could stay with Someone
Speaker:seeing, hey, how can I get this and get there? And
Speaker:then even to go back to what you were saying dei, about,
Speaker:you know, people being negative, it's like to me, I'm thinking it is in the
Speaker:reverse. I'm trying to cut all this bull out. I'm not trying to waste your
Speaker:time, you know, and sometimes some people don't know how to transfer the words
Speaker:for the positive. Right? I don't want nobody four feet,
Speaker:you know, I don't want you fat. I know I'm a plus size girl. I want you
Speaker:big. You know, I don't got no problems, you know, I don't want you smoking,
Speaker:so I just don't want you wasting my time, you know, because
Speaker:not everyone can't afford a coach, right? So they just trying to go
Speaker:out there, like, look, just bypass me with all that, you know,
Speaker:and the ab really have taken.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Huh, huh.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: I agree with that. Be yourself. Because
Speaker:if you change in who you are just to get chose,
Speaker:then once you meet, you're not going to be the person that you presented
Speaker:yourself to be. You're going to be somebody different. So that was just a waste of
Speaker:both of your time.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: M right person.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Show yourself.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Yeah, definitely be yourself.
Speaker:About the, um, you want to put the nose
Speaker:and stuff, but my client say exact
Speaker:samething. No, I need to put the. No smoking. I need to.
Speaker:And then when I switched it up for them, they're like, oh,
Speaker:wow, I'm getting really quality. Because they don't
Speaker:realize how much that negative stuff is just like,
Speaker:even, like, let me give you an example. Like, and I think,
Speaker:Anthony, um, I'm telling on you. So if you like no
Speaker:woman with a wig, and even if you don't have a wig,
Speaker:you're going to be like, I just don.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: I got a wig today.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: You sure did.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Mind is to me, that tells me where your mind
Speaker:is.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Even if you don't have it just like deterred, you re like, oh, I.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Don'T want to deal with that person.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: But anyway, Anthony, you want to tell your story?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Oh, my God.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Sorry, I'm calling you out.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Thank you. Uh, so my
Speaker:profile, my tender profile, when I had it, um,
Speaker:um, I said, like, no wigs,
Speaker:uh, uh, little to no makeup,
Speaker:no kids. I said, what else I put on
Speaker:there? And I had some other
Speaker:things. So it was like, just weird. And then I got a lot
Speaker:of hate messages, of course. And I'm like, well, you could
Speaker:have just kept moving, like, just kept swiping. What? You took the
Speaker:time out to respond to my message.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: But you didn't say that. Your wife didn't read it. And that's the only
Speaker:reason you still.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: That's all the reason why. Yeah, why?
Speaker:Whyife? Did I read it?
Speaker:>> J. Steven: I. Please.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: I was going toa ask that because yourife.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Isay.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: How old were you when you made these posts?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Uh, let's see. I was
Speaker:33. Fresh on the market
Speaker:around that time frame.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Okay. And I know this is, like, putting you in
Speaker:the hot seat. Anthony knows love is.
Speaker:I am not trying to call you out, especially on your own show.
Speaker:Haveier Gus here.
Speaker:Um, what made you think something was wrong
Speaker:with makeup or wigs or
Speaker:anything? Like, like, I'm saying that because I'm pointing to, you
Speaker:know, makeup today.
Speaker:So what made you think that
Speaker:was an issue? And this is safe space. Whatever you say.
Speaker:I.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: No, it's a safe space, but also,
Speaker:it'it's. On the Internet, too.
Speaker:It's cool. Uh, but y'all got the red flags
Speaker:ready? You know what?
Speaker:>> J. Steven: I'm going to give you look, I'm going to give you a
Speaker:pink flag.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: There you go.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: You go.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: There you go.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: As y all can tell, like, pink. But also, just
Speaker:because I know you, I've seen who you are
Speaker:now, so that's why I'm like, fall.
Speaker:Like, um, so
Speaker:what made you think that, like, Wes
Speaker:m excessive makeup, nails. Like, what made you think that would be
Speaker:something you were not attracted? You, like, you had a bad experience. You were,
Speaker:you know, hanging out with somebody and they wig knocked off or like
Speaker:an ey you woke up on an eyelash next to your pillow or
Speaker:something. Like, what were the situations that got
Speaker:you?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Where's the trau coming from? Where the trauma come from?
Speaker:Um, u. It was my prior relationship. That's what it was.
Speaker:And it was just kind of seeing
Speaker:the amount of effort that was going
Speaker:into the look, and I was like,
Speaker:um, um, it's just
Speaker:me. Like, you know, I don't. I don't look for all of
Speaker:this extra stuff. But then she was like, well, I do it for
Speaker:me, for herself. And I was like, it took me
Speaker:a while to understand that, but then I was like, you know, when I
Speaker:got done with that relationship, I was like, I just don't
Speaker:want to deal with it at all. So.
Speaker:But, you know, I had to get it that some people
Speaker:are different, and some people like it, some people
Speaker:don't. I mean, but to me, I'm as. I'm
Speaker:older now. You know me, it's like, I can chill
Speaker:with you all day, so it's Cool.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Yes. Okay. See, and, and that's the
Speaker:maturation. It's the same way I didn't want to do coffee
Speaker:dates. I'm like, if you take me on a coffee date, he's not the man for me
Speaker:because the PTSD I had and the fact
Speaker:that it had nothing to do with that guy and
Speaker:as you said, he might in your case, she was doing all of
Speaker:that for herself. Um, and let's be real, at some
Speaker:point, you liked it because you initially saw her. She had all
Speaker:of that on you stuck around. That's when the guy
Speaker:asked me on a coffee day. He wasn't saying like, I want to make you
Speaker:think about work all the time. I'm m trying to pull on your
Speaker:triggers. He didn't even know that about me. I wasn't giving him a chance to know
Speaker:that about me. I was holding in the trauma I
Speaker:had. I also think it's, um, we mentioned
Speaker:social media before, um, that
Speaker:people have just these
Speaker:unrealistic expectations your pockets won't agree with.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: They had a good name.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: It really had nothing to do with money. Caus you know, Starbucks dreams can run
Speaker:you a little something. Depends on what you order. Um,
Speaker:it. Social media
Speaker:just becomes like whatever, for whatever reason, the guide by
Speaker:which we say something's a healthy relationship or not. I
Speaker:think that there's this idea of like
Speaker:how someone should look and what dates we should go
Speaker:on. Um, because you want to have it postw worthy
Speaker:and you can have a lot of really
Speaker:great pictures, but your relationship, your life,
Speaker:the trust, the communication, the respect for you have is in
Speaker:shambles and there's no filter for that. And so
Speaker:you're sitting here trying to like force something to work off the
Speaker:strength of I want it to look like something.
Speaker:And this is what I think should be like how women are like, he's
Speaker:got to be six foot three. Okay, girl, but you don't like to wear
Speaker:high heels like you're
Speaker:five too. So like, maybe it's
Speaker:okay if he's not 60. So
Speaker:it's just kind of like understanding that there's so
Speaker:much more that will make a relationship work
Speaker:beyond the appearance.
Speaker:And I think what people constantly circle back to
Speaker:is like they're trying to find a no as opposed to trying to find a
Speaker:yes. I'm also very guilty of this. Again, not trying to give dating
Speaker:advice. Just like advice on. I'm
Speaker:very guilty of having to remind myself, do not
Speaker:take an easy exit out. Don't be like, oh, that one
Speaker:time. Keep blink three times in a Minute
Speaker:y. Like, I'm out. I'm out. That
Speaker:be me was so goodest.
Speaker:Or it was like I. It could be absolutely
Speaker:nothing wrong. There are a few things that I'm just going toa say no to. I will
Speaker:say, if they're missing that tooth on the side, I will find myself
Speaker:just staring at it because I'm just kind of like,
Speaker:h. So do we not have dental insurance? And are we not
Speaker:taking care of our health?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Which means care of yourself?
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Are you taking care of me? Cause like, how are
Speaker:you going to bring a family into when you can't even handle
Speaker:your own dead bones coming out your gums?
Speaker:But again, things you have to just like, I might just look at
Speaker:it. Unfortunately, I haven't had that. I think people tend to be getting
Speaker:their teeth nowadays big, so there's not that breeze going through the side. Y'all
Speaker:know that one.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: I know you're talking about to be.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Missing in people's mouths.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: I know. Talking about
Speaker:always keep my. My dental records available.
Speaker:I accidentist for, uh, u. Uh, you know,
Speaker:mo mold. Fun stuff. But
Speaker:anyway, anyway, back to the topic.
Speaker:Uh, you know, where do you
Speaker:actually get your dating advice? I'mn harp on you rahema
Speaker:for this one, because you got a couple little ones out there
Speaker:and, you know, you provided them some dating advice, showing them good
Speaker:examples. Where did you get your examples
Speaker:from?
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Um, I probably got my examples from a whole lot of what not
Speaker:to do. Uh,
Speaker:so I think it's really important to date your values.
Speaker:Uh, so. So values are the things that are going to underpin
Speaker:your decision making. So in. In
Speaker:leadership coaching, uh, surprisingly,
Speaker:the personal life stuff still comes up. That's why I say personal
Speaker:and leadership coach. Like it's that holistic thing. And so
Speaker:in my coaching practice, I do come across,
Speaker:uh, people sharing stuff. What's going on, their dating, um,
Speaker:maybe marital problems. Right. Just different stuff that come
Speaker:up. And so, um, typically I'm
Speaker:asking, you know, well, what information do you need
Speaker:to make a decision? Right. I don't necessarily tell people what
Speaker:to do. If somebody asks me, then I'll caveat it and
Speaker:say, well, I'm coming from the
Speaker:perspective of that. Like, I am a, um, I would say, like,
Speaker:you know, a historical Christian. Right. Um,
Speaker:and so, you know, you're going to hear something a little bit different when it comes to
Speaker:restrictions and dating. That being said for my
Speaker:kids, um, I don't want my kids
Speaker:to ask somebody else what they bring to the
Speaker:table. Uh, but I'm going to.
Speaker:And, and really, that's a question that I
Speaker:reserve for women because what I'm finding is
Speaker:with my mid-20s, um, which is
Speaker:about the youngest of my coaching clients are mid-20s, so like
Speaker:25, 26. They're
Speaker:operating from the perspective that they don't, they don't have to do
Speaker:anything. Right. It's like the guy this, the guy
Speaker:that. And so it just out of curiosity, like what is
Speaker:it you bring to the table? And it is a really
Speaker:offensive question. Um, I met this young
Speaker:woman, um, not, not a client of mine, but she
Speaker:was um, like Instagram pretty.
Speaker:Like look like she's filtered but she's not wearing the,
Speaker:the little shorts with the ruching up the behind.
Speaker:Um, and so for some marketplace, um, um, that
Speaker:don't come. I don't want my kids bringing that home. But like for
Speaker:somewhere else, you know, you're kind of
Speaker:stereotypical pretty. Um, um. And, and I asked her that. She's
Speaker:like ah, all this. And she was kind of joking. But
Speaker:like what was clear to me is that she hadn't reflected on that.
Speaker:Now I'm not saying that these women don't have anything to bring to
Speaker:the table. I'm just saying that you should
Speaker:to did Dee's point earlier talking about men asking that same
Speaker:question, you know, for to reflect on that and being what is it that I'm
Speaker:going to bring to the table? What am I, you know, you
Speaker:know, I'm a great partner in this way. I can support you doing
Speaker:this. Um, I want for, for my
Speaker:kids to first understand who they are.
Speaker:Uh, uh, before u. Um, like I want
Speaker:them to have outward expressions of who they are, not putting on things
Speaker:from other people. So again being grounded in their, in their
Speaker:values. Um, um. Because ah,
Speaker:again like learning from what not to do. Right've I've been
Speaker:in a relationship before where uh, you know,
Speaker:really, you know, crush to my. My spirit and
Speaker:my confidence and uh. And I don't want for my kids to go through
Speaker:that same thing. U. Um, and then
Speaker:uh, uh, as far as like the rest is like, it's like
Speaker:how do you guys interact with each other? Uh uh,
Speaker:for initial dating, um, um, like the initial dates,
Speaker:like I can't really speak to that. But as far as being in a relationship, how
Speaker:do you navigate conflict? Um, what is your desired
Speaker:outcome? If you're having a maybe um,
Speaker:a contentious conversation, what is your, you know, when you walk away from
Speaker:the end of that conversation, what do you want to achieve?
Speaker:And having that end in mind will help filter
Speaker:what you say in that Conversation. Um, do you want to
Speaker:win or do you want to be happy at the
Speaker:end? And so, um, those are some things that come m to mind
Speaker:for, uh, thoughts around dating.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Gotcha. Thank you for that one. Because, I
Speaker:mean, you know, we all got toa learn from somebody. I think it
Speaker:was not John Mayer. What was it?
Speaker:One of those songs. I'm bad with songs. Ne. You know, I'm
Speaker:bad with songs. I ain'tnn try it.
Speaker:Yeah, yeahe not or
Speaker:no. He was like, fathers, learn from your daughter's
Speaker:daughter.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: That's John Mayor.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: John, uh, Mayer. Okay.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: You said John Mayor.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: He said, I definitely heard
Speaker:John Legend. And you know what?
Speaker:Uh, if I could, I'll put myself in my corner,
Speaker:say red flag for
Speaker:list skills. So I would put myself in time out over
Speaker:there. I'm just put on you and
Speaker:John Mayer'a great song, though. That song gona happen feeling
Speaker:when it gets to the bridge.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Uh, and that's why I said, I can't remember the song, but it gets to that.
Speaker:It's giving me those vibes. Uh, so
Speaker:free.
Speaker:You know, when it comes to the
Speaker:dating pool, how do you feel,
Speaker:um, about,
Speaker:you know, single fathers?
Speaker:>> Free Green: Oh, that's actually a really good question. So,
Speaker:um, I personally don't have any kids. I'm in my
Speaker:mid-30s, and I
Speaker:have dated and will date a
Speaker:gentleman that has two is
Speaker:my max. Um, and
Speaker:oftentimes in social media, we talk about the number.
Speaker:But what's most important to me is that one,
Speaker:the relationship that he has with the kids.
Speaker:Because if you are a present father, that goes
Speaker:a long way with me. And not just present from the perspective
Speaker:of, like, oh, I'm paying child support. That
Speaker:ain't enough for me, and I'm not even ma.
Speaker:So'like are you showing up the games?
Speaker:Do they. Do you have an act? Like, do you play an
Speaker:active role in their life? Um,
Speaker:because that is important. Because should. Should
Speaker:we have, you know, kids and
Speaker:blend the family? I want to know that you have a
Speaker:track record of activess.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Right?
Speaker:>> Free Green: Um, and then what's also really important
Speaker:is the relationship that you have with their mother.
Speaker:Um, I for. So I'll give you a quick
Speaker:story. So I went to
Speaker:lunch. Um, this wasn't a day I just happened to
Speaker:meet thetleman while I was treating myself to a solo
Speaker:lunch one day. And we got to talking,
Speaker:and, um, he mentioned that he had a daughter who was around 8
Speaker:years old. And I was like, oh, okay. And
Speaker:then he. He proceeded to
Speaker:say, like, he couldn't stand his
Speaker:child's mother, she like made him sick and was
Speaker:just disparaging her. And I was like,
Speaker:do you talk about your mother that
Speaker:way? Right? And they kind of caught him
Speaker:off guard because up until that point the conversation was flowing.
Speaker:But for me that was like, mentally.
Speaker:And I guess he, he thought that I was
Speaker:goingna like, oh, yeah. And I'm like,
Speaker:no, sweetie. So u.
Speaker:Um, you know, that conversation didn't go
Speaker:much further. But those are kind of the two things
Speaker:that I look at. And then also what's kind of helpful
Speaker:for me is to understand the age because if your child
Speaker:is two months,
Speaker:it's gonna be a no, right?
Speaker:>> J. Steven: So, yeah, the saying
Speaker:if you. If the baby's under, under
Speaker:two, y'all ain't through.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: For me, black
Speaker:girl mmm.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: For me, my daughter's 23, so I
Speaker:don't want to be under 5. Uh,
Speaker:my daughter is grown. I'm not looking to start
Speaker:over. If we're looking to get in relationship, your
Speaker:children are packag j the same thing. If you're not active in your
Speaker:children's lives or have a positive impact in their life, we
Speaker:can't date. There's nothing we can
Speaker:do. Um, but that's going to
Speaker:be a point for me in the relationship
Speaker:because like I said, um, I'm an empty
Speaker:nester. So that's something I
Speaker:have to consider. This young, like you
Speaker:said, under two. They not through, um, and
Speaker:just things that a child needs at that age.
Speaker:Homework, pick up
Speaker:hairstyles. Um, if I'm taking on this relationship with you, this
Speaker:means I'm going toa be doing hair. I'm. You know what I mean. If
Speaker:we're talking about getting together and we date for long term, so those
Speaker:are things that I have to consider
Speaker:do I want to do that and I
Speaker:don't.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: I think this is a great question, Anthony. Um,
Speaker:so I will share. Um,
Speaker:I swore, uh, after the last, after getting
Speaker:divorced that um, that I was going to marry for
Speaker:money and inst said I
Speaker:married a soldier with four kids.
Speaker:And so I had one child from previous marriage, he
Speaker:had four. And ah. And so now
Speaker:those, the fourth of those ones, um,
Speaker:just finished high school. Mine, uh,
Speaker:that I came into the marriage with, uh, is now in high
Speaker:school. And then we have a surprise, um,
Speaker:baby who, who's seven. So a
Speaker:huge um, age range for the kids. But
Speaker:uh, going back to
Speaker:how they, how the dads interact with
Speaker:their kids and how they just how they are about their kids. And
Speaker:I will tell you that that same care extends
Speaker:to Me. And so I know that I am
Speaker:a better mother being
Speaker:with my husband, uh, that I was before he and
Speaker:I got married. Um. Um. He's also, you
Speaker:know, like, I'm a bonus mom. He's a bonus dad. You know,
Speaker:fortunately, our, you know, for all the kids have their other
Speaker:parents and all of that. So, um, you know, we're in a good situation
Speaker:there. But, uh, it's tough when you talk about
Speaker:what kind of filters you're going to put in place. And that's why I say, you know. Re going back
Speaker:to dating values, because you may find yourself dating
Speaker:somebody that is unexpected.
Speaker:But then, uh, like, I mean, ll I'll tell you all,
Speaker:like, I went part. Like, he married a career woman. I went part time
Speaker:last year. And I have an extra strategy from the workforce. I told my
Speaker:husband two years ago, I'm like, um, I. I don't want
Speaker:to work anymore, and I don't want to have any responsibilities
Speaker:before providing for the household. And he was kind of like, uh,
Speaker:u. Okay. And, um. And we
Speaker:partnered together to, you know, to be able to make that happen. And
Speaker:it'll take total. It will take about four years to make that
Speaker:happen. Um, but, you know, for somebody else, they
Speaker:would have filtered him out because he is not six foot tall.
Speaker:Right. And he has four kids. And, man,
Speaker:I am incredibly blessed.
Speaker:I have a wonderful husband who, um. And I'm really
Speaker:spoiled. I don't know what I would do if something
Speaker:happens to him. Um,
Speaker:Dee Dee, there's probably no hope for me. Like, I.
Speaker:I'll just.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: You could talk about his cooking if you want to. I mean,
Speaker:about. You can talk about his cooking if you want to. It's all right.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: We know he cooks. He does my mil prep. Like, y'all.
Speaker:It's. I. He's happy. So,
Speaker:I don't know. You'll have to ask him about it. But, like, I am. I
Speaker:am super spoiled. Um, I just. The point is
Speaker:dating your values, um, and being mindful of some of
Speaker:these other things. Now, if you're somebody who has decided that you don't
Speaker:want to have kids or however you want to set your boundaries, like, that is
Speaker:perfectly fine. Like, I am not, um.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Um.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Don't hear what I'm not saying.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Right.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: I am not shaming that again. It could be just part of, you know,
Speaker:where you are in your life, that you don't want the responsibility,
Speaker:uh, of being a parent when that's not your child. Like,
Speaker:it is a responsibility and free, to your point, like, you
Speaker:are. You are all coming. Like, you have to take it
Speaker:all.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Anthony.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: So maybe something for us to talk about later is, um,
Speaker:maybe like how you do family dates or something like
Speaker:that. Because that was also, I mean, that was a
Speaker:key thing in, you know, our dating relationship. So talking
Speaker:about dates, I'm like, oh, like, you
Speaker:know, we had very few before
Speaker:then. We were looking at integrating the family. You.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Yeah, you make a good point. Like me personally, I'm that person. I don't
Speaker:plan on having any more children. I've made sure that I'm not going to have any
Speaker:more children. So I know would be no
Speaker:surprise babies, um, for me. And so
Speaker:that's why that's a strong consideration for me.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: So what I believe, um,
Speaker:I'm going to talk about dating up and again, because I love dating
Speaker:apps, that you can be picky on a dating
Speaker:app. So if you don't want a guy with a
Speaker:kid under two, then you don't have to. Like, there are
Speaker:so many men out there. I know some people
Speaker:think dating apps are over, they suck or whatever,
Speaker:but you really can be picky. And so when
Speaker:the women that I work with, if they're like, I don't
Speaker:want a guy with kids, then go ahead and click,
Speaker:filter out the guy with kids. But you can be as picky
Speaker:as you want and it's okay. It's whatever your preference
Speaker:is. When I, um, met my husband, I put no
Speaker:kids and he didn't have any kids.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: I.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: But no kids, never married before and
Speaker:he popped up. So.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: And height filters too, right?
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Matter negative. Yeah, you can put
Speaker:negative, uh, filters. That's where I recommend you filter it
Speaker:as they. Not on your bio, but filter as
Speaker:much as you want. That's how I met my husband.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: So. So does heighte matter though?
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Yes, for me.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Okay.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Oh, we're talking about height.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yeaheah. Height.
Speaker:I know.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: We had another question. Um, um, yeah, I put over
Speaker:six, but I'm 510 and I want. I wanted a tall
Speaker:man.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Okay, Anybody else?
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: Yeah, height does matter. I want you to be my height or taller
Speaker:because me looking down my futures, uh, up'full.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: For me, height matters, but you don't have to
Speaker:be super tall. But I wouldn't
Speaker:want someone like, I'm five four. So just to give it in
Speaker:perspective. So I would need them to like,
Speaker:be close to me. I'm okay with looking at you directly.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Yeah.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Equal.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: A greater.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Yeah. Okay.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: So yeah, m. I am Withia.
Speaker:I'm 5 4. On a good day, my doctor will write
Speaker:down that I'm 5 5. Because she knows it lo my confidence.
Speaker:And I'm um, like if you're
Speaker:5 7ish, I ideally like
Speaker:5, 8 or above because I wear heels.
Speaker:And just like I find myself sometimes looking
Speaker:at that missing tooth. I'll find myself just
Speaker:looking at the crown of the head. Like I see it
Speaker:and I don't know why, but I can see it.
Speaker:And it doesn't matter at all. What we
Speaker:as explained to me, we are
Speaker:genetically, we think that someone that's taller is
Speaker:genetically more inclined to be healthier. Um,
Speaker:and to. And so you're thinking like you're, you're just
Speaker:thinking this person is going to be around
Speaker:and they are going to have good health because for whatever reason
Speaker:genetics say, um, if you're
Speaker:taller you can do better. Um, also
Speaker:it's something that comes up in jobs too. So somewhere I
Speaker:read that it was like over 95% of
Speaker:CEOs are over 6ft. Um,
Speaker:and it's just the thing that's out there.
Speaker:But those are stereotypes that can be
Speaker:broken. So I mean I've heard stereotypes
Speaker:about being, you know, shorter, about being black, about being a
Speaker:woman and they're not true. So
Speaker:I agree with having your preference. That is
Speaker:exactly what you should do. Um, but I'm just saying
Speaker:we shouldn't blame someone if they do have that preference because
Speaker:it comes from what's kind of just trained and you have to work
Speaker:through what, what matters to you. Oh,
Speaker:and thank you.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yeeah, you got some shout.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Um, this is a game time decision because I definitely had on a
Speaker:white shirt. I said I
Speaker:look very thugnificent right now. So I got rid of
Speaker:the changeains and pulled on a pink shirt that required no
Speaker:ironing.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: All right, I wanted to clarify my answer real quick. So I
Speaker:said yes, me,
Speaker:that mattered for me. But there's plenty of the women
Speaker:that I um, coach are like, oh, I don't care about the
Speaker:height and that's good for me that was important. It
Speaker:was because of. I just wanted to walk around with someone taller than
Speaker:me. But it really does not matter. If I met a really, really
Speaker:good guy who's just like my husband, a little shorter.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: He didn't think you were saying like short guys, you know, short key.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: Well Anthony, everybody, it matters to
Speaker:me. It matters. I'm just asking. Good
Speaker:Lord, don't let me throw him away. Please don't let me throw.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Just pick.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: I know very detail in my
Speaker:prayers, dear God, but please, it matters to
Speaker:me.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: I've definitely dated. Um, so I'm five five the
Speaker:shortest of dated is five four. Um,
Speaker:however ah, as um,
Speaker:as a bodybuilder I
Speaker:the guys that were shorter were also um,
Speaker:very muscular and so um, there were
Speaker:different areas of compatibility in that sense. So I
Speaker:I and I mean it's again it's been
Speaker:decades um, since I was really dating
Speaker:but uh, uh, I did date a lot of
Speaker:of other um, bodybuilders.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: May I add one more thing to this?
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Um.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Short men sometimes I say it's not a red flag
Speaker:it's something that I will look for.
Speaker:Um, short men sometimes not
Speaker:always. Sure. Kings don't come at me in these comments.
Speaker:They can sometimes have a Napoleon complex and
Speaker:that is the actual turn off.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yes.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Not the uh, hype please like
Speaker:need to conquer and control everything.
Speaker:And that is
Speaker:it's similar to like sometimes men who are extremely good
Speaker:looking for no reason and like
Speaker:they'll call out weird stuff about like oh
Speaker:your, your bangs aren't even or like they'll take two
Speaker:not the bankgs that's just an odd situation.
Speaker:I'm not saying itthing wrong the extremely good look at Mr. Model
Speaker:but like
Speaker:how this shows up in your personality is the red
Speaker:flag.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Hey Renee. Hey Renee's up in
Speaker:girl right?
Speaker:Good shout out to the finom family.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: So can I address some of the comments?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Oh yeah, let's go. I can uh, put him up. Which one you want?
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: So first he said he asked what muscle
Speaker:he asked that question.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Oh yeah, right.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Um, and then he said six figure six feet.
Speaker:That's um, um.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: What do d he say?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah, six feet and six figures
Speaker:equals.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: And I say and protect that's a lie.
Speaker:Six figures is nothing nowadays.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: That is.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Not equal provide no more maybe back in the
Speaker:day but that does not equal in way back
Speaker:and your six figures doesn't equate to my six bigures.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Just because that part especially
Speaker:without a budget we know you
Speaker:need's my
Speaker:favorite.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Wor bud.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: I probably with I don't know if I'm with the right group of people but
Speaker:again for my kids I'm less concerned with
Speaker:how much their partners make than I am about how they steward what they
Speaker:make so absolutely.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah we say m
Speaker:right My husbandire.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Me.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: All right since we it s getting into that that dark
Speaker:time I want to go on and keep it spicy.
Speaker:It's the last question U uh, let me share
Speaker:my screen here to kind of kick off the conversation.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: I'm so sorry but that last comment.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Read read.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: Them short m men who.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Have a Napoleon complex they do be having stubby
Speaker:fingers.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Did I miss the stubby fingers? Oh,
Speaker:Erica.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Uh, Erica.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Oh, Erica.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Yes.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Okay.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: She's not l about that.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: They do be having those stubby fingers.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: It is.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: I don't know what it is, but until she said that, I
Speaker:didn't think about that.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: But, uh.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Very true'hilarious
Speaker:I mean, I don't look at other guy's fingers.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: I. I'm
Speaker:you experiences.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: All right, let me know if y'all can hear this because I've been
Speaker:working on myself. Y'all watch Sex in the City, right?
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Please tell me all season the new series.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: I know, right? It's so good. Um, um.
Speaker:So anyway, I mean, it's
Speaker:from season one, so.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Man to the ladies room. Love life
Speaker:with James. Here you are. We've been looking for you everywhere.
Speaker:So how is everything?
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: She means of you and James.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Done it yet?
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Mmm. Mhm. And?
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: It's nice.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: I'm so happy for you.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Sweetie.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: What?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: What? What is it?
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Nothing.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: The acting. Hey,
Speaker:what's going on?
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Why are you crying?
Speaker:>> J. Steven: James has a small dick.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Oh, well, it's not the end of the world.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: It's really small.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: How small?
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Too small.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Well, size isn't everything.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Three inches? Well,
Speaker:hard.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Is he a good kisser?
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Oh, who the fuck cares? His stick is like a
Speaker:gherkin. It's so terrible.
Speaker:Listen to me.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: I'm a bad.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Don't beat yourself up.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: You had certain expectations and you're disappointed.
Speaker:Why? Why? Why does he have to
Speaker:have a small dick? I really like
Speaker:him.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: I thought you loved him. Well, oh,
Speaker:look, we've all been there, that's for sure.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: I was once with a guy the.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Size of one of those little miniature golf pencils.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Couldn't tell if he was trying to.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Fuck me or erase me.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: I'm sorry.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: It's funny.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Let's not lose perspective. There are ways to
Speaker:work around this. But I don't want to work around it.
Speaker:I love a big dick. I love it inside of
Speaker:me.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: I love looking at it.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: I love everything about it.
Speaker:When I blow him, it's like
Speaker:nothing. Nothing.
Speaker:Can you talk to him about it?
Speaker:>> J. Steven: No.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: It's the only thing we can't talk about.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: What am I gonna do?
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: How is he with his tongue?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Um. All right, so
Speaker:what's that?
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: Anthony?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yes.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Why'd you do that to me?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Okay. Call the k kids
Speaker:came ca my pearls.
Speaker:Oayee
Speaker:expected that, but, uh,
Speaker:I figured, you know, if we talk about house sizes and all
Speaker:that stuff like that, does that really matter
Speaker:to consider? If it's going to go any further
Speaker:then obviously the third date rule, if you guys
Speaker:have your rules, does that matter?
Speaker:To continue on the conversation.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Anthony, you want us on video in
Speaker:perpetuity.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: All right.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Well bringsh.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: You sayer. Okay. So he
Speaker:said help us out. Hey, uh, look, y'all could take phone
Speaker:calls. Y'all can call in if y'all.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: He said play the cricket sound.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: He said play the cricket sound.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Right?
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: What's up the finance rebel?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Hello. My. Yeah, because I yell at K. I was like
Speaker:yo, thanks for u leaving uh, me hanging.
Speaker:That's cool.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: What you got your response,
Speaker:right?
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: My uh, um, I for.
Speaker:Okay. For my 14 year old. We have
Speaker:not talked about about this specifically
Speaker:but um, she has heard
Speaker:probably more detail than she would care to.
Speaker:Um, but that her virtue matters
Speaker:and it's a beautiful thing to, to
Speaker:preserve for her future husband and to have him in
Speaker:mind. Um, because she may. She's going to want
Speaker:to and it's natural for her to want to. Right now she's
Speaker:still kind of grossed out by it, but as a 14 year old, like
Speaker:your body is designed to want to and that's okay.
Speaker:But I, but the optimal for you to choose not
Speaker:to and then we're praying that your future husband is
Speaker:also waiting for you. And then if
Speaker:you, if you don't um,
Speaker:engage before a marriage, then it
Speaker:wouldn't matter. Uh, something to keep in mind
Speaker:too is that if you have more than five
Speaker:partners, women that, that can impact your ability to
Speaker:pair bar. And so there are
Speaker:um, long term psychological
Speaker:consequences of choosing to
Speaker:engage in the behaviors. Just because men can do whatever women can do,
Speaker:whatever men can do. Um, I will add on to that from a
Speaker:Christian worldview that 100% um, um, you
Speaker:know, God can restore your virtue. I
Speaker:don't mean your physical body, but certainly your ability to bond with your
Speaker:potential husband. So with your future husband. So u.
Speaker:Um, it's not like, you know, all doom and
Speaker:gloom, but there are consequences to these
Speaker:choices. I'll leave it at
Speaker:that.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Okay. Thank you for being brave to
Speaker:take that one on.
Speaker:So well,
Speaker:guess this is coming to the last part of the
Speaker:show. Uh, I do want to first thank you all for coming
Speaker:on to this lovely panel. Please give a round of
Speaker:applause to yourselves
Speaker:and then I do want to give a round applause to
Speaker:everybody for,
Speaker:for showing up today. Thank you guys. The audience, you guys
Speaker:been great. Um, let's give a shout out to
Speaker:all the folks. Let's see, we got Dr. S.
Speaker:Great person. I think we met a couple times. I Think
Speaker:con. Um, as
Speaker:Cash would Mark. I haven't. I don't think
Speaker:I've probably met in person. I can't think of. Can't bring
Speaker:a face right now. Shout out to
Speaker:Erica. We got
Speaker:Hugo Kamari. Thanks for
Speaker:coming through. Defin a Gott Check his show if you haven't
Speaker:already. Um, um, who else we had up in here?
Speaker:We had Lisa J. Stocks, who talks about stocks
Speaker:a lot. And, oh,
Speaker:Renee. We have Renee. And then
Speaker:also Paula. Paula was in
Speaker:here with. Talk us with
Speaker:Paula.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Okay.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah, she's big in a podcasting
Speaker:aren. She's like, all over the place.
Speaker:Um, um, so do you want to say that?
Speaker:Thanks, everybody. And before we go,
Speaker:definitely got to let everybody know where you guys are from,
Speaker:how they can keep in touch. Who wants to go first? Oh, it looks like
Speaker:it's free.
Speaker:>> Free Green: Well, thank you so much for having me. And, um, um, you
Speaker:can Find me on YouTube at Gage street
Speaker:society against your financial safe space, talking about
Speaker:all things money and you.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Awesome.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Take your ass to bed.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: It's time for me to go be with you guys.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Okay''play some. Play some
Speaker:outro music so we can, um.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: You won't be a finome. I remember how.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Huh?
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Uh,
Speaker:all right, so next, let's see, we, uh, got
Speaker:joy.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: Where you all can find me at coffee with Joy.
Speaker:Again, talk to podcast.
Speaker:If you love to be a guest.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Please make sure that you.
Speaker:>> Joy Coffee: Or you can email us at the coffee.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Awome
Speaker:cheeky. There we
Speaker:goa.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: Um, Carpenter, you can find me on
Speaker:Instagram at ohawks and pearls. You can shoot
Speaker:meemailhawl.do.com.
Speaker:i am a personal and leadership coach.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: About all the things in your professional.
Speaker:>> Raima Carpenter: And personal life and make sure that your goals are aligned with your
Speaker:values.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: All right, thank you, Kamar, for letting me know
Speaker:the sound was too high. Uh, sorry about that,
Speaker:Jay. Get you your, ah, air horns as your outro
Speaker:as well. As always.
Speaker:>> J. Steven: Thank you. Thank you all. I enjoyed this panel with you all.
Speaker:You have, uh, really great advice and perspective, so
Speaker:thanks for let me be part of it. I am Jay Steven.
Speaker:You can find me on Instagrams at
Speaker:richge, like mymelanin and then my website,
Speaker:rl mm, which is the acronym of rich. Like my
Speaker:melanin. Rlmmfinancial m dot
Speaker:com.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: All right, thank you,
Speaker:Dee Dee.
Speaker:>> De Dee Patterson: So the best place to find me is on
Speaker:Facebook. If you do a search for love and
Speaker:dating secrets, I pop right up. And I
Speaker:do like a Monday live every
Speaker:Monday. A lot of good information.
Speaker:And if you want to find me on Instagram, Ded
Speaker:Patterson with a 0 instead of O because someone
Speaker:took the o. So that's where you can find
Speaker:me.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: All right, last but not
Speaker:leastep, I'm.
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: Um, Nia Adams, the Money Moves motivator. You can find me right
Speaker:here on YouTube at Money Perspectives.
Speaker:Um, the executive founder of Perspectives, a financial
Speaker:education brand. And I drop a video
Speaker:every Tuesday.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: You're author?
Speaker:>> Nia Adams: I'm an author, speaker,
Speaker:consultant. I do a lot of things.
Speaker:>> Anthony Weaver: Yes, a lot of things.
Speaker:All right, everybody, I want to just thank you all so much for
Speaker:this. This has been an awesome opportunity. Uh,
Speaker:ladies, if you don't mind holding on once I play the
Speaker:outro, just want to say thank you again. Um,
Speaker:and thank you, everybody. And please, if you
Speaker:haven't already, leave, uh, some comments.
Speaker:And I'LOOK forward to actually having more panels like this.
Speaker:So let us know, uh, if this is something that you guys
Speaker:would like to see more of, I can bring on more people.
Speaker:Hopefully, I will not be the only guy this
Speaker:time around to talk about dating
Speaker:and having this fun time by myself.
Speaker:All right, thank you all. Have a good one.
Speaker:We out. Peace. Hold on.
