306: [Doug Lynam] Ai Review
We're diving deep into the fascinating world of money management today, and the big takeaway is all about recognizing your "money monsters." These clever little critters are those unconscious patterns and fears that shape how we handle our finances—think of them as the gremlins of your budget! Our guest, Doug Lenham, a former Marine turned Benedictine monk and now a successful money manager, shares his unique journey and insights on how our childhood experiences can create these monsters. He uses the Enneagram personality system to help us identify our financial behaviors, whether we're earners, savers, or, dare I say, "blingers!" Plus, we tackle some practical advice for those of us in the sandwich generation juggling kids and aging parents—hint: remember to pay yourself first! So grab your headphones, and let’s get ready to tackle those money monsters together!
Takeaways:
- This podcast episode dives into financial habits, focusing on how to talk about money in a way that feels natural and enjoyable.
- Doug Lenham, a former Marine and monk, shares powerful insights about transforming your relationship with money after facing bankruptcy.
- Understanding your 'money monsters' through the Enneagram helps identify childhood trauma that affects financial behaviors.
- The episode emphasizes the importance of being financially literate and taking responsibility for your own financial future, no one cares more than you!
- For the sandwich generation, it's crucial to set boundaries and prioritize your own financial health while caring for others.
- Teaching kids about money early, like giving allowances, can help them understand saving and long-term growth through smart investing.
💬 Question of the Day: What money traumas have you faced, and how have they influenced your financial decisions? Share your thoughts in the comments!
🔗 Connect with Doug Lynam:
Website: https://www.douglynam.com/
⚠️ DISCLAIMER:
This content is for educational purposes only and is not financial advice. Always consult a licensed financial professional when needed.
#AboutThatWallet #MoneyTrauma #FinancialLiteracy #Enneagram #SelfCare
Episode 306 (bonus)
Transcript
Welcome to the Deep Dive. Our mission is simple. Take the sources, pull out the key knowledge, and help you get well informed fast.
Speaker B:And today we're digging into the about that Wallet podcast.
Speaker A:That's right. Specifically for anyone new to it. Or maybe part of the sandwich generation.
Speaker B:Exactly. Those folks balancing, you know, kids and aging parents financially.
The podcast aims to build habits so you can actually talk about, spend and importantly, enjoy your money.
Speaker A:Okay, so let's get into it. Their guest, Doug Lenham. Sounds fascinating. His background isn't typical finance, is it?
Speaker B:Not at all. He's a former Marine, then a Benedictine monk for 20 years.
Speaker A:Twenty years?
Speaker B:Yeah. And now he's a successful money manager and author. The book's called Taming youg Money Monster.
Speaker A:Quite the journey. How did he even get into finance from a monastery?
Speaker B:Well, that's the kicker. The monastery actually went bankrupt just three years after he joined.
Speaker A:Seriously?
Speaker B:Yeah. And it. It forced him to face his own feelings about money, which he'd largely avoided.
He had this realization that money, if you use it right, isn't bad. It could be a tool for, like, love and service.
Speaker A:Coming from someone who lived without it, that's powerful.
Speaker B:Definitely shifts your perspective.
Speaker A:So he talks about money traumas. What does he mean by that? It sounds intense.
Speaker B:It often goes back to childhood. He says for him, it was his parents divorce when he was 7. Money became sort of a weapon in their fights.
Speaker A:Ah, okay. So that created anxiety for them.
Speaker B:Right. And money avoidance in him. He connects this to what he calls money monsters.
Speaker A:Okay, money monsters. How does he help people identify those?
Speaker B:He uses the Enneagram. It's a personality system. But he focuses on how our childhood stuff like anger, sadness, fear, shapes our defenses around money.
These defenses are the money monsters. They're unconscious patterns.
Speaker A:Does he give examples like his own?
Speaker B:He does. He's a type three, the achiever. His core fear being worthless.
Speaker A:Ooh, heavy.
Speaker B:Yeah. And for him, that showed up as two monsters. The barrier. That's avoiding looking at the numbers because low net worth felt like low self worth.
Speaker A:I think many people can relate to that one totally.
Speaker B:And the other was the Blinger using flashy stuff to get approval. Kind of like his dad did.
Speaker A:So these patterns affect everything. Earning, saving.
Speaker B:Exactly. The four pillars. He calls them. Earning, saving, investing, and giving. You can be anxious or avoidant in any of those areas.
Speaker A:So this is fascinating for self discovery, but let's bring it back to the sandwich generation listener. They're juggling so much. How does knowing your monster help practically?
Speaker B:Well, it's huge for them. Because discipline and priorities are non negotiable. When your money is stretched thin, Doug really hammers home. Paying yourself first.
Speaker A:Meaning don't sacrifice your own retirement or savings completely for kids and parents.
Speaker B:Precisely. You can't martyr your own financial future. Awareness of your patterns helps you set those boundaries.
Speaker A:But those conversations. Talking money with family can be so difficult. Any advice there?
Speaker B:Openness, transparency. He also suggests understanding your partner's enneagram. Type their core fears.
It helps you communicate with empathy, not just throwing numbers around.
Speaker A:Makes sense. Talk their language. Essentially.
Speaker B:You got it.
Speaker A:What about that radical responsibility idea from the monastery? How does that apply financially?
Speaker B:It means, look, you can hire a tax pro, you can get an investment advisor, delegate tasks, okay? But you can never delegate the ultimate responsibility for your money. You have to stay financially literate.
No one cares more about your money than you do. It's about ownership.
Speaker A:Got it? So stay engaged. Even if you get help. And for teaching kids start young.
Speaker B:Allowances are key, but guide them. Put some here for saving, maybe an emergency bit. And. And look, put a little in a simple index fund.
Speaker A:Ah, to show them long term growth.
Speaker B:Yeah, let them see compounding work. Even on a small scale. It makes it real.
Speaker A:One last monster, the giver. Often a type too, right?
Speaker B:The person who might give too much. Maybe out of a fear of not being loved. If they don't.
Doug's point is that true generosity comes from feeling worthy and loved inside, not from trying to buy it externally. It's a different driver.
Speaker A:So wrapping up, we've taken a dive into about that Wallet, explored Doug Laneham's ideas on money monsters, the Enneagram and radical responsibility. All super relevant for the sandwich generation.
Speaker B:And it really leaves you with something to think about. Which of those money monsters maybe the barrier? The Blinger? The giver? Which one might be whispering in your ear?
Speaker A:And how could just recognizing that pattern start to change your relationship with money? It's a powerful question. If you found this deep dive valuable, please do leave a review or comment wherever you're listening and check out the.
Speaker B:Monthly newsletter for more insights. That's at about that wallet.com newsletter.
