Episode 274

274: [Basiliso Moreno] Life Insurance Lessons and the Sandwich Generation

Published on: 12th November, 2024

Join host Anthony Weaver as he welcomes Basiliso Moreno, a licensed social worker and financial consultant, to discuss the intricate balance of managing personal finances while supporting both children and aging parents. Basiliso, affectionately known as Bass, shares his journey of navigating the sandwich generation, highlighting the emotional and financial challenges faced when caring for loved ones. From the importance of life insurance to the unexpected benefits of a poetry book, Bass provides insights into his experiences and the lessons learned along the way.

In this episode, we explore:

  • The critical role of life insurance and the impact of unexpected expenses.
  • How Bass transitioned from personal grief to becoming a voice in the social work community.
  • Strategies for managing finances while supporting multiple generations.
  • The creation of Bass's poetry book and its significance in his healing journey.
  • The importance of seeking therapy and mental health support, particularly for men and people of color.

The power of storytelling and community support in overcoming personal challenges.

=||Chapters||=

00:00:00 - Introduction

00:05:00 - Bass's Background and Financial Journey

00:15:30 - Life Insurance and Financial Planning

00:25:00 - Navigating Grief and Family Responsibilities

00:35:00 - The Creation of a Poetry Book

00:40:00 - The Role of Therapy and Mental Health

00:50:00 - Final Four Questions

01:00:00 - Closing Remarks

Discover more about Basiliso Moreno and his work:

Instagram: @basmorenoconsulting

Website: basmorenoconsulting.com

LinkedIn: Basiliso Moreno

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!

#SandwichGeneration #FinancialPlanning #AboutThatWallet #SocialWork #MentalHealth

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Email: Anthony@aboutthatwallet.com

--

DISCLAIMER: The content in this audio is for educational purposes only. Conduct your own research and make the best choice for you. If you need advice, contact a qualified professional.

Episode 274

Transcript
Basiliso Moreno:

Am I going to go? So, like, I did a living

Basiliso Moreno:

will for myself and make sure like my kids

Basiliso Moreno:

were at least somewhat protected,

Basiliso Moreno:

as eventually learned later on, studying

Basiliso Moreno:

my own financial literacy journey and gaining

Basiliso Moreno:

more insights that a living will is not enough.

Basiliso Moreno:

I got to go get a trust, which, uh, I still haven't done

Basiliso Moreno:

yet. So, uh, that's the next step for

Basiliso Moreno:

me. Um, but

Basiliso Moreno:

yeah, Dan was like, damn, dad, don't have my life insurance policy, Let me go

Basiliso Moreno:

get one for him because he's not going to leave me. And

Basiliso Moreno:

death is expensive, which is something that, you

Basiliso Moreno:

know, people don't, don't talk about. And unfortunately

Basiliso Moreno:

I had to use a life insurance policy

Basiliso Moreno:

for my mom and also, um, my ex

Basiliso Moreno:

wife that she had passed away

Basiliso Moreno:

from 2016. So I had

Basiliso Moreno:

to use, uh, probably one of the best life decisions

Basiliso Moreno:

I made financially was getting a life insurance policy.

Anthony Weaver:

Welcome everybody back to another exciting show,

Anthony Weaver:

the about that Wallet podcast where we help you build

Anthony Weaver:

strong financial habits so that you have

Anthony Weaver:

the confidence to talk about money,

Anthony Weaver:

make money and spend that money like you

Anthony Weaver:

want. But today I have also an opportunity

Anthony Weaver:

to bring on somebody who

Anthony Weaver:

has the top 10 social

Anthony Weaver:

work podcasts across the world

Anthony Weaver:

globally here. Uh, he has

Anthony Weaver:

several books, books out there to help you cope

Anthony Weaver:

with social work skills, especially in the

Anthony Weaver:

Latinx community. And it's

Anthony Weaver:

constantly pushing the narrative in the financial realm

Anthony Weaver:

as well. And I have to say that this

Anthony Weaver:

guy is really taking social work to a

Anthony Weaver:

whole new level. And I want to thank you,

Anthony Weaver:

thank you for coming on so much. Bass. It's

Anthony Weaver:

been a pleasure, it's been a pleasure chatting with you

Anthony Weaver:

before we even record it, but I really want to

Anthony Weaver:

hear your story and just learn a little bit more about you. So welcome

Anthony Weaver:

to the show.

Basiliso Moreno:

Yeah, so hi everybody. Uh, thank you so much for

Basiliso Moreno:

having me. Uh, my name is Basiliso,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, full name is Basiliso. Everybody calls me Bass. Yes,

Basiliso Moreno:

like Bass Pro shops Bass like the fish but

Basiliso Moreno:

with one S. Um, Moreno. I'm a

Basiliso Moreno:

licensed master's level social worker in the state of

Basiliso Moreno:

Delaware. I'm also a certified financial

Basiliso Moreno:

social worker helping Gen

Basiliso Moreno:

Xers like myself of color,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, with financial education and financial doing

Basiliso Moreno:

one on one financial counseling as well as I

Basiliso Moreno:

do, uh, workshops both in person

Basiliso Moreno:

and virtually through different

Basiliso Moreno:

organizations talking about mental health, emotional

Basiliso Moreno:

health and how it ties in with money.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, yet I'm also the host

Basiliso Moreno:

and producer of the Social Worker

Basiliso Moreno:

Rants podcast is heard every Friday

Basiliso Moreno:

start, uh, 9:00am wherever uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

you listen to podcasts. I'm Also on, on YouTube

Basiliso Moreno:

trying to get those subscribers up a little Bit.

Basiliso Moreno:

So it's been a work in progress. So, uh, for

Basiliso Moreno:

all the. Any podcasters out there know exactly

Basiliso Moreno:

what I'm talking about. So good, uh, to be

Basiliso Moreno:

here.

Anthony Weaver:

Amen. Uh, trust me, I know from podcast to

Anthony Weaver:

podcast that this stuff is not easy, especially if you're the

Anthony Weaver:

solo person. Like, these systems

Anthony Weaver:

gotta work for real.

Basiliso Moreno:

Absolutely.

Anthony Weaver:

Yeah. Um, and talking about

Anthony Weaver:

systems, financial

Anthony Weaver:

aspects, have to have a system.

Anthony Weaver:

And we all feel as though our

Anthony Weaver:

finances are kind of escaping us in a

Anthony Weaver:

sense. Um, especially with the sandwich generation. We

Anthony Weaver:

gotta deal with the kids and also take care of the parents.

Anthony Weaver:

What systems did you put in place to kind

Anthony Weaver:

of help you when you're dealing with your

Anthony Weaver:

parents?

Basiliso Moreno:

Oh, wow.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, it's still a work

Basiliso Moreno:

in progress.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, you know, initially,

Basiliso Moreno:

you know, I was caring for both

Basiliso Moreno:

my parents.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, so let me take it

Basiliso Moreno:

back. So I was

Basiliso Moreno:

married, um, for nine years

Basiliso Moreno:

after I got divorced. I'm originally

Basiliso Moreno:

from New York City, from the Bronx. I moved to

Basiliso Moreno:

Jersey. I got engaged, moved to

Basiliso Moreno:

Jersey, got married for nine years,

Basiliso Moreno:

separated, got moved back

Basiliso Moreno:

to my parents. I had two kids at the

Basiliso Moreno:

time. They actually moved in with me.

Basiliso Moreno:

Uh, now I'm, um, caring

Basiliso Moreno:

for them and now kind of also took

Basiliso Moreno:

over. Like, all right,

Basiliso Moreno:

why are you paying, Mom, Why are you paying?

Basiliso Moreno:

Uh, the cell, the. The Got a

Basiliso Moreno:

house phone, a bill, and then you got cable

Basiliso Moreno:

bill. Why can't we put them together, call, you know, Cable

Basiliso Moreno:

Vision Optimum, and just do one

Basiliso Moreno:

package, everything in one package. And it's bad

Basiliso Moreno:

enough in New York City, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, the light bill, like, is always

Basiliso Moreno:

raising the price. So we're dealing with that and kind of

Basiliso Moreno:

like, you know, paying all these bills and

Basiliso Moreno:

then, like, is not. And then you're doing money

Basiliso Moreno:

orders. It's not even, like, automated. It is, like.

Basiliso Moreno:

So it was just a lot,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, happening, um, with the finances and

Basiliso Moreno:

stuff. Like, you know, mom was really good with

Basiliso Moreno:

getting a life insurance policy for herself. One

Basiliso Moreno:

for one for me. Um,

Basiliso Moreno:

and it's always, like, why she's always like, just in case.

Basiliso Moreno:

But there's a lot that even, like, goes into that,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, which I'll share in

Basiliso Moreno:

a bit. So kind of like, you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

they were still pretty independent in terms

Basiliso Moreno:

of doing, you know, doing stuff, going outside, going to doctor's

Basiliso Moreno:

appointments, uh, uh, and then

Basiliso Moreno:

I'm just, as my kids got older, taking them to school and,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, having my parents helping me out, you know, picking them up from

Basiliso Moreno:

school while I work and different things like that. So,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, one month, my mom, When Covid happened, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

my mom ended up, uh, having it

Basiliso Moreno:

and um, ended up passing away in

Basiliso Moreno:

2020 from. As a result of COVID

Basiliso Moreno:

Yeah, sorry about that. Yeah, thank you. So,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, pretty much I

Basiliso Moreno:

realized like, oh snap, like

Basiliso Moreno:

dad never got a life insurance policy even before then.

Basiliso Moreno:

Like I was even questioning like my own

Basiliso Moreno:

mortality. Am I going to go. So like, like I

Basiliso Moreno:

did a living will for myself and make sure

Basiliso Moreno:

like my K. Least somewhat

Basiliso Moreno:

protected, has eventually learned later

Basiliso Moreno:

on, you know, studying my own

Basiliso Moreno:

financial literacy journey and gaining more

Basiliso Moreno:

insights that a living will is not enough. I

Basiliso Moreno:

gotta go get a trust. Which uh, I still haven't done

Basiliso Moreno:

yet. So uh, that's the next step for

Basiliso Moreno:

me. Um, but

Basiliso Moreno:

yeah, Dan was like, damn, dad, don't have my life insurance policy, let me go

Basiliso Moreno:

get one for him because he's not going to leave me. And

Basiliso Moreno:

death is expensive, which is something that

Basiliso Moreno:

people don't. Don't talk about. And unfortunately,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, I had to use a life insurance policy

Basiliso Moreno:

um, for my mom and also um,

Basiliso Moreno:

my ex wife that divorced, she had

Basiliso Moreno:

passed away from 2016. Um,

Basiliso Moreno:

so I had to use a. Probably one of the best life

Basiliso Moreno:

decisions I made financially was getting a life insurance

Basiliso Moreno:

policy on her, um,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, during our marriage and

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, because her health was you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

deteriorating and it was to a point, it was like a matter of

Basiliso Moreno:

time, uh, before she was going to pass

Basiliso Moreno:

away. Um, so I was like,

Basiliso Moreno:

once I got that and did that

Basiliso Moreno:

and usually there's like money left over

Basiliso Moreno:

after you paid the funeral expenses. So

Basiliso Moreno:

that was like my initial nest

Basiliso Moreno:

egg. Uh, and put that in, in a

Basiliso Moreno:

savings account. It wasn't a high yield savings account, which I

Basiliso Moreno:

should have did after

Basiliso Moreno:

20. Exactly. But you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

I did the best I could. When you have like literally the mom

Basiliso Moreno:

of, of your, of your kids

Basiliso Moreno:

and like you know, you think that

Basiliso Moreno:

was, that was the one. And then obviously life, life

Basiliso Moreno:

takes a turn and still that's, that's still

Basiliso Moreno:

the mom of your kids. And your expo had you know, passing away

Basiliso Moreno:

and having to, to tell your kids

Basiliso Moreno:

like hey, like your mom passed. And they were

Basiliso Moreno:

very young too. My son was seven

Basiliso Moreno:

and my daughter was four. Um,

Basiliso Moreno:

at the time. Um, and

Basiliso Moreno:

Google, Google's terrible

Basiliso Moreno:

figure out ways to how to tell 4 year old

Basiliso Moreno:

that your mom passed away. So it,

Basiliso Moreno:

it was a lot and,

Basiliso Moreno:

but it helped build, build me up.

Basiliso Moreno:

Like the characters when Covid happened

Basiliso Moreno:

kind uh, of like all right, kind of like

Basiliso Moreno:

think very quickly of what to do

Basiliso Moreno:

in terms of know finances and getting that

Basiliso Moreno:

living will. Luckily I had like a good friend of mine

Basiliso Moreno:

was like yeah, I'll sign off,

Basiliso Moreno:

just get the Paperwork together. I sign it off and we

Basiliso Moreno:

met. Did that. Her and her husband will sign off on

Basiliso Moreno:

that. So at least I had like, some protection. And

Basiliso Moreno:

then, um, working in 9 to 5 all

Basiliso Moreno:

as well. And working with, um, the

Basiliso Moreno:

seniors, also known as older adults too,

Basiliso Moreno:

and having clients, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

passing away as well. So I literally had

Basiliso Moreno:

clients passing away. Like then my mom passed

Basiliso Moreno:

away. I'm usually, um.

Basiliso Moreno:

I try to keep my work life and

Basiliso Moreno:

my personal life, you know, separate. When I'm done. 5:00,

Basiliso Moreno:

4:30, where I'm done, like, I'm done. I'm not.

Basiliso Moreno:

I like, uh, serious, like, I do not social,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, work unless I do my social work podcast

Basiliso Moreno:

after hours. I don't do no social working. I would

Basiliso Moreno:

like. There's no code of ethics. There's

Basiliso Moreno:

like, leave me the hell alone. So like

Basiliso Moreno:

the next day. So, uh, um.

Basiliso Moreno:

But the. My worlds

Basiliso Moreno:

came intertwined

Basiliso Moreno:

together and uh, unfortunately, and yet

Basiliso Moreno:

through, uh, all the trauma that I

Basiliso Moreno:

experienced still, uh, because even going

Basiliso Moreno:

into 2019, 2020, look, my,

Basiliso Moreno:

my now wife, I got remarried,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, uh, in

Basiliso Moreno:

2022. Thank you.

Basiliso Moreno:

So we was like dating

Basiliso Moreno:

and they kind of like, all right, 20,

Basiliso Moreno:

19, 20, the beginning rumblings

Basiliso Moreno:

of this Covid thing. And my mom was in

Basiliso Moreno:

the nursing home for like, literally like

Basiliso Moreno:

seven months. Like, she came home

Basiliso Moreno:

March, literally like two weeks before the world

Basiliso Moreno:

shut down.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, so we were

Basiliso Moreno:

like, let's go get a house. We're gonna move out of New York, move to

Basiliso Moreno:

Delaware, and we'll look for a house and kind

Basiliso Moreno:

of, you know, start our life in

Basiliso Moreno:

a new state. And um, then when

Basiliso Moreno:

Covet happened, I was like, are we going to move or are we still gonna,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, what we gonna do? And luckily,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, we got blessing from like her older

Basiliso Moreno:

brother. Like, yeah, like, come. Come live with us.

Basiliso Moreno:

Like, we got the space and like, you have to come in

Basiliso Moreno:

person. There's only so much Zillow you could do.

Basiliso Moreno:

Look at houses and uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, like you have to look at the house and

Basiliso Moreno:

go inside the house. And there's only so much like

Basiliso Moreno:

virtual tours you could do.

Basiliso Moreno:

And you gotta touch the walls, you gotta look at the paint and

Basiliso Moreno:

you gotta like, you know, make sure

Basiliso Moreno:

you get what you need to live

Basiliso Moreno:

comfortably, uh, in a house. And you have to do that in person.

Basiliso Moreno:

So no, we moved. Glad, uh, we

Basiliso Moreno:

did it. It was like perfect. Right place,

Basiliso Moreno:

right time. I guess we kind of had to go through

Basiliso Moreno:

the trauma because there was a light

Basiliso Moreno:

at the end of the tunnel being,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, how mortgage

Basiliso Moreno:

rates under 3. And I got

Basiliso Moreno:

my house at a 2.75. Which it helped having

Basiliso Moreno:

good credit. Um, and

Basiliso Moreno:

so, and now like

Basiliso Moreno:

there's, there's no way in hell I'm gonna refinance

Basiliso Moreno:

anytime soon. I'm stuck with,

Basiliso Moreno:

I was stuck with this house. Unless,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, you know, everything, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, I've done since then, you know, be able to

Basiliso Moreno:

try to monetize stuff that, okay, maybe

Basiliso Moreno:

I'll eventually, a few years down the line, get,

Basiliso Moreno:

get another house or, or have to have my

Basiliso Moreno:

wife get a mortgage on in her name.

Basiliso Moreno:

So, um, all

Basiliso Moreno:

that, you know, all that being said, it was like right place, right time.

Basiliso Moreno:

Even from a social work perspective. Like they

Basiliso Moreno:

entered into like a grandfathering program to

Basiliso Moreno:

get my social work license. So, uh, there

Basiliso Moreno:

is a test that you have to take the past to get

Basiliso Moreno:

licensed. And I totally avoided

Basiliso Moreno:

paying that racially, uh, profile, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

test and just paid the fee. You, uh, can look

Basiliso Moreno:

it up. Uh, all the social workers know

Basiliso Moreno:

about, uh, that racially biased

Basiliso Moreno:

exam that we have to take to pass. But that's another story for

Basiliso Moreno:

another podcast. Yes, but you can listen to the

Basiliso Moreno:

Social Work man podcast. I, I could give you all,

Basiliso Moreno:

I gave you all the tea. Uh, about that test.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, but anyway, so literally got grandfathered in,

Basiliso Moreno:

got license, paid the fee. So it was like everything kind

Basiliso Moreno:

of happened. Right place, right time, right

Basiliso Moreno:

situation, you know, with God's

Basiliso Moreno:

glory that, and I just had to

Basiliso Moreno:

go through that huge rough patch

Basiliso Moreno:

and see and see that other side. And

Basiliso Moreno:

being a first time homeowner,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, during that time,

Basiliso Moreno:

2020 at the mom passed for some out of

Basiliso Moreno:

nowhere. I joke around and said there was

Basiliso Moreno:

the COVID antibodies because even though

Basiliso Moreno:

when I finally got tested, I tested negative, but

Basiliso Moreno:

I tested positive for the antibodies at one point I

Basiliso Moreno:

had it. Um,

Basiliso Moreno:

and like literally like these words started popping in my

Basiliso Moreno:

head. Like, must have been like either on a zoom,

Basiliso Moreno:

the thousand and one zoom calls that I was on during that time

Basiliso Moreno:

afterwards I started like really picking up, learning

Basiliso Moreno:

like, like my financial literacy really picked

Basiliso Moreno:

up, um, like towards the end of 2019,

Basiliso Moreno:

2020, you know, obviously we're all in the home

Basiliso Moreno:

and like everybody kind of talking about financial

Basiliso Moreno:

literacy or uh, at the same time from different,

Basiliso Moreno:

different folks and kind of like learning

Basiliso Moreno:

and kind of try to see what

Basiliso Moreno:

worked for me and kind of put stuff that I'm learning in

Basiliso Moreno:

practice. But these words like, just popped in

Basiliso Moreno:

my head one time like on the couch and like snap.

Basiliso Moreno:

It rhymes. Okay. I mean, end up being like a poem. Then

Basiliso Moreno:

like literally like another day will pop up or

Basiliso Moreno:

I'm in the shower and like I uh, literally I had to like take

Basiliso Moreno:

pen and pad to the bathroom in case I

Basiliso Moreno:

wanted to shower. I had to like just stop what I'm doing

Basiliso Moreno:

and like right, if I don't write this down

Basiliso Moreno:

now, I'm not going to remember these words or

Basiliso Moreno:

it'll be the middle of the night and having these words pop in my head and

Basiliso Moreno:

like write it down in the dark. I figure it out in the morning

Basiliso Moreno:

what the hell I just wrote.

Basiliso Moreno:

So I had all these like series of poems

Basiliso Moreno:

just literally I know I'm not a poet by trade.

Basiliso Moreno:

I like, I've done like some journaling

Basiliso Moreno:

especially when I younger my twenties

Basiliso Moreno:

or even like in grade school

Basiliso Moreno:

class and stuff. That I'm not a uh, writer

Basiliso Moreno:

by any little stretch of imagination

Basiliso Moreno:

unless I write whatever. Like I feel

Basiliso Moreno:

um, occasionally and like I

Basiliso Moreno:

got these poems like should I do a ebook?

Basiliso Moreno:

And then like I um, had a previous

Basiliso Moreno:

podcast host who was a best selling author. He had this

Basiliso Moreno:

writing course and like so I signed up for his writing course.

Basiliso Moreno:

I was like why do I ebook? Maybe I could actually have it on paperback.

Basiliso Moreno:

And that's exactly what I did. So July

Basiliso Moreno:

2022 I released um, a poetry book. It's

Basiliso Moreno:

literally 30 pages front and back. So, so

Basiliso Moreno:

if you never read a book and you're like I want

Basiliso Moreno:

to read a book, like one of my, my

Basiliso Moreno:

to do list, like literally go get my book. And you

Basiliso Moreno:

could like accomplish reading a book front and

Basiliso Moreno:

back. It's called try through pain how to

Basiliso Moreno:

maximize your full potential in hard times.

Basiliso Moreno:

Uh, is available

Basiliso Moreno:

in paperback and has

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, this year, this past summer. Excuse

Basiliso Moreno:

me, this past summer is also uh, an

Basiliso Moreno:

audiobook as well. I'm still trying to figure out getting

Basiliso Moreno:

it on Audible, but if you like look it

Basiliso Moreno:

up on. It's definitely on Spotify, is on

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, other major platforms. Uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

just look for it. It was like a big for

Basiliso Moreno:

me to, to do in 2024 is

Basiliso Moreno:

finally get, get the audiobook done. Um,

Basiliso Moreno:

so. And it's narrated by me, you know, my own

Basiliso Moreno:

words written by me, you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, spoken by me. Like I

Basiliso Moreno:

learned during my writing class how to, how to do it, you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

as an audiobook. Because I was asking around like

Basiliso Moreno:

how to do it because I was struggling for like a year straight on and

Basiliso Moreno:

off. Stop. I started, I stop it like

Basiliso Moreno:

kind of like different ways and I finally got it

Basiliso Moreno:

done. So uh, that, so yeah,

Basiliso Moreno:

that's a little bit uh, in a nutshell,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, for the ups

Basiliso Moreno:

and the downs and coming back up.

Basiliso Moreno:

Yeah.

Anthony Weaver:

Because one of the things that is true about

Anthony Weaver:

your story That I do appreciate is

Anthony Weaver:

that you took

Anthony Weaver:

time to really understand what is going on

Anthony Weaver:

around you and then took

Anthony Weaver:

action. I mean, obviously you're going to have different

Anthony Weaver:

emotions coming up, but you took time out to

Anthony Weaver:

actually understand and recognize those emotions and putting

Anthony Weaver:

pen to paper, literally, and

Anthony Weaver:

getting that story out there, because it could actually help out

Anthony Weaver:

somebody else that's going through that. That same

Anthony Weaver:

trauma or going through that situation.

Anthony Weaver:

Uh, and when it was coming to a time

Anthony Weaver:

to actually talk to the kids, I'm gonna get

Anthony Weaver:

back to the money a little bit. But this is a

Anthony Weaver:

tough conversation that some people just have

Anthony Weaver:

to get ready to have as the sandwich

Anthony Weaver:

generation, as we go in, as we get older.

Anthony Weaver:

How did you, like, what was that

Anthony Weaver:

conversation like, explaining it to your kids

Anthony Weaver:

under 10? Like, what some of the things that people should

Anthony Weaver:

ask their kids or talk to their kids when they getting

Anthony Weaver:

ready for that tough conversation.

Basiliso Moreno:

Oh, uh, man, so sorry to take you

Basiliso Moreno:

back. No, no. Yes. So

Basiliso Moreno:

for. For me,

Basiliso Moreno:

just a kind of like a

Basiliso Moreno:

straight, Straight shooter. Like, I try,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, yes, I have to kind of make sure I put my

Basiliso Moreno:

social work hat and kind of be like, figure out, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

age appropriate to say. Yeah.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, and like, not

Basiliso Moreno:

necessarily filter, but kind of like make sure that, you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

it's appropriate for them to understand.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, so

Basiliso Moreno:

literally, um, July

Basiliso Moreno:

20, 2016.

Basiliso Moreno:

So I was working at a job. So this is

Basiliso Moreno:

probably like the best social work job I ever had. Literally, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

was a hybrid model before

Basiliso Moreno:

hybrid became popular, thanks to Covid.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, so literally one

Basiliso Moreno:

day up to the point, like, I was able to take, like, my

Basiliso Moreno:

kids to, to work if I needed to, or pick them

Basiliso Moreno:

up from school and then like, come from the office, run

Basiliso Moreno:

to go get them to the other side of town, then bring them back

Basiliso Moreno:

and finish off my day at work. Like, the job was very

Basiliso Moreno:

flexible supervisor, very

Basiliso Moreno:

flexible.

Basiliso Moreno:

Uh, just a great

Basiliso Moreno:

job. Like, I had. Um, so one day,

Basiliso Moreno:

it was like the summer was summer break, obviously July, kids

Basiliso Moreno:

off school. Like, I know how my parents are.

Basiliso Moreno:

They had a hard time handling both

Basiliso Moreno:

kids at the same time. So let me take the oldest

Basiliso Moreno:

to work. Um, so

Basiliso Moreno:

literally, like two days before.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, and mind you, during this time,

Basiliso Moreno:

like 2015, 2016. I got

Basiliso Moreno:

divorce in 2015. So literally, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

my wife's. My ex wife's health

Basiliso Moreno:

knows a lot of it due to her, her

Basiliso Moreno:

own, um, doing as well.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, so I already had this

Basiliso Moreno:

anxiety of like, I know the shoe.

Basiliso Moreno:

The shoe is about to drop one of these

Basiliso Moreno:

days, and I'm going to get the call that, you

Basiliso Moreno:

know, she passed away. So this

Basiliso Moreno:

was July

Basiliso Moreno:

18th, uh, Monday. I just

Basiliso Moreno:

got home from work and her brother

Basiliso Moreno:

calls me, my ex brother in law calls me and he's

Basiliso Moreno:

like hysterical crying on the phone. I was like, oh man, this is

Basiliso Moreno:

the call. Uh, it's like, oh, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

the doctor said that,

Basiliso Moreno:

you know, she has, her name was Erica. So

Basiliso Moreno:

Erica has 24 to

Basiliso Moreno:

48 hours left to live. I'm like, what, like what you talking

Basiliso Moreno:

about? Um, so

Basiliso Moreno:

yeah, like, but he, he never, from what

Basiliso Moreno:

I remember, he didn't mention and I could

Basiliso Moreno:

be wrong, but I don't remember him saying

Basiliso Moreno:

that she was in icu. So I

Basiliso Moreno:

um, so I go to work the next day,

Basiliso Moreno:

um,

Basiliso Moreno:

and I told the kids like, oh look, my

Basiliso Moreno:

son, she's doing um, that

Basiliso Moreno:

I kind of like left that.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um,

Basiliso Moreno:

so the next day I go to work and then

Basiliso Moreno:

from work I go straight to the hospital.

Basiliso Moreno:

I work in New York, work in the Bronx and I went all the way

Basiliso Moreno:

to Jersey where, where she was at, go see her,

Basiliso Moreno:

see her that she's an icu. Got uh, tubes kind

Basiliso Moreno:

of everywhere, all over her face. It was like, it's not

Basiliso Moreno:

looking good at all. And I'm pretty much

Basiliso Moreno:

a realist. So I was like,

Basiliso Moreno:

hey, if she make it out to this, like

Basiliso Moreno:

this be like a uh, beyond a miracle, whatever that

Basiliso Moreno:

other word is, is like, you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

Gaga is like literally looking down

Basiliso Moreno:

over um. So mind you at the time, like I

Basiliso Moreno:

said before, I got a life, life insurance policy on

Basiliso Moreno:

her. So

Basiliso Moreno:

literally, uh, so literally her mom is like

Basiliso Moreno:

grabbing her hand and like praying over her. And then like

Basiliso Moreno:

her, her dad was there and like, like whispers to

Basiliso Moreno:

her dad, um, literally

Basiliso Moreno:

straight up I told him like whispered like, um, just in case

Basiliso Moreno:

she don't make it. I do have a life insurance

Basiliso Moreno:

policy. So the funeral. Could

Basiliso Moreno:

be able to pay for the funeral.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, kind of

Basiliso Moreno:

nodded his head. I don't even remember what,

Basiliso Moreno:

what, what he did,

Basiliso Moreno:

but you know, and then literally like the next day,

Basiliso Moreno:

so all this happened literally 72

Basiliso Moreno:

hours I go to work, take my son to,

Basiliso Moreno:

to work. And then it was like little after 3

Basiliso Moreno:

o'clock in the afternoon and uh, her

Basiliso Moreno:

dad calls me, tell him he didn't use, that she had

Basiliso Moreno:

passed away. So work at

Basiliso Moreno:

the time was like one of like the few places

Basiliso Moreno:

that didn't remind me of

Basiliso Moreno:

my, my previous relationship. So

Basiliso Moreno:

it was either that and the gym. So

Basiliso Moreno:

uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, because you

Basiliso Moreno:

know, after, after I got divorced I had to get, get

Basiliso Moreno:

sexy with it and get my Stella getting grew back,

Basiliso Moreno:

losing weight and like I gotta, I gotta take

Basiliso Moreno:

selfies for the apps and like um,

Basiliso Moreno:

with all these apps, like dating apps, like I knew nothing

Basiliso Moreno:

like get back at the dating Game. But that's like another story.

Anthony Weaver:

We got have you back home for the daily scene.

Basiliso Moreno:

So um, yeah, so

Basiliso Moreno:

I so literally I got this so

Basiliso Moreno:

literally worst case scenario in my head. No, my

Basiliso Moreno:

son was a big, you know, loved his mom to death

Basiliso Moreno:

and kind of like I always worried about him,

Basiliso Moreno:

how he was going to react. So literally at work I'm

Basiliso Moreno:

like literally like my worst case

Basiliso Moreno:

scenario is coming true and ah, like

Basiliso Moreno:

um, like hey, we gotta go to the

Basiliso Moreno:

bathroom. Come with me to

Basiliso Moreno:

the bathroom. So no, we walk to the

Basiliso Moreno:

bathroom and like I'm sitting like on

Basiliso Moreno:

the, on the stall on its

Basiliso Moreno:

like little toilets. I look at him like in his

Basiliso Moreno:

eye and let. And

Basiliso Moreno:

um. Something to tell you like know your

Basiliso Moreno:

mom passed away and like

Basiliso Moreno:

literally like for me I

Basiliso Moreno:

took it as like it was like

Basiliso Moreno:

a relief for him because like we

Basiliso Moreno:

like would try to go visit her

Basiliso Moreno:

and like no, she also had like

Basiliso Moreno:

dealing with epileptic like seizures

Basiliso Moreno:

but she didn't have epilepsy.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um between that just a whole other like

Basiliso Moreno:

a lot of health issues going on. So sometimes we would like

Basiliso Moreno:

go to Jersey is ah we find out like she

Basiliso Moreno:

usually got to go to the er so they

Basiliso Moreno:

literally just like wasted money in a way ended

Basiliso Moreno:

up being like wasted money going to Jersey from the

Basiliso Moreno:

Bronx and literally got to go back and drop them off like

Basiliso Moreno:

or take, go back home or things like that. So,

Basiliso Moreno:

so I took is like relief for

Basiliso Moreno:

him that you know, she doesn't have to suffer

Basiliso Moreno:

anymore.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, that's how I took

Basiliso Moreno:

it. Like you know, we never stood to this day

Basiliso Moreno:

still like how did you feel?

Basiliso Moreno:

Like when I told like he, he remembers that he told me

Basiliso Moreno:

recently. Like hey, I remember like we was in the

Basiliso Moreno:

bathroom when you told me and

Basiliso Moreno:

we, we used the, the

Basiliso Moreno:

bathroom that was meant for, for people in a

Basiliso Moreno:

wheelchair. Uh, because I did have like

Basiliso Moreno:

co workers who used wheelchairs. It was like a

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, you know, disability

Basiliso Moreno:

type uh, uh agency that I worked for

Basiliso Moreno:

at uh, the time. So, so he remembers like the

Basiliso Moreno:

details of the bathroom where I told them.

Basiliso Moreno:

So it was uh, then I had to figure

Basiliso Moreno:

out like literally how to tell my 4 year

Basiliso Moreno:

old and it's like I was literally googling Google

Basiliso Moreno:

not helping at all. It's like how do you tell a four year old

Basiliso Moreno:

like, like age appropriate mind you. Like

Basiliso Moreno:

mom passed away is like kind of be like oh

Basiliso Moreno:

she's in the heavens like flying like, like the

Basiliso Moreno:

storks took her like Initially how

Basiliso Moreno:

like how I told her like initially and

Basiliso Moreno:

like, and like weeks like I miss

Basiliso Moreno:

mommy. I miss mommy. And kind of like all you do is really

Basiliso Moreno:

just just hold her and kind of understand like

Basiliso Moreno:

just, just be there for and hold her. Like I know you miss

Basiliso Moreno:

like I was. Of course you're gonna miss her. Uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

so literally that Sunday was the,

Basiliso Moreno:

was the funeral. Well, literally. So

Basiliso Moreno:

Thursday we kind of like shop around, go

Basiliso Moreno:

find, go to different couple, um,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, funeral home funeral home

Basiliso Moreno:

stuff and, and do that and like

Basiliso Moreno:

tell me the price. I was like

Basiliso Moreno:

why is so damn expensive?

Anthony Weaver:

What's the price were they giving you?

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, it was like almost $8,000.

Basiliso Moreno:

So like so literally

Basiliso Moreno:

my last conversation with, with my ex wife she was

Basiliso Moreno:

like uh, I'm going like I have a bad

Basiliso Moreno:

toothache. I'm going to the emergency room. I think got

Basiliso Moreno:

infected. I'm like. So she was kind of going in

Basiliso Moreno:

and out the out the hospital hospital to a point

Basiliso Moreno:

was like, but I don't want to hear about. You

Basiliso Moreno:

got.

Basiliso Moreno:

Let me know when you're able to see the kids. Like

Basiliso Moreno:

it got to the point like that in, in our

Basiliso Moreno:

relationship. Um, but I didn't

Basiliso Moreno:

realize that was going to be like our last

Basiliso Moreno:

ever, you know, phone contact or any type of

Basiliso Moreno:

contact whatever. Um, so

Basiliso Moreno:

obviously that, that kind of guilt, initial

Basiliso Moreno:

guilt of that it kind of like you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

talking to her like that

Basiliso Moreno:

um, happening. So

Basiliso Moreno:

there's a lot happening. And no, I did not take the

Basiliso Moreno:

kids to the funeral. It's going to be

Basiliso Moreno:

like a show for the last of

Basiliso Moreno:

them. And it kind of was

Basiliso Moreno:

my mother in law like fading

Basiliso Moreno:

and kind of did a show a little bit.

Basiliso Moreno:

And uh, it was just

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, you know, uh, I'm a big

Basiliso Moreno:

wrestling fan so like I kept looking back at the

Basiliso Moreno:

casket and I thought she was going to do like some undertaker like

Basiliso Moreno:

sitting up kind of thing. It was

Basiliso Moreno:

like now you better say something nice about

Basiliso Moreno:

what I spoke. So uh, I joke about it

Basiliso Moreno:

but you know, when we think about you know, money

Basiliso Moreno:

and things like that. And luckily I had

Basiliso Moreno:

the wherewithal to have life, a life insurance

Basiliso Moreno:

policy on her because I'm tired of seeing the

Basiliso Moreno:

GoFundMe pages and no.

Anthony Weaver:

Yes.

Basiliso Moreno:

I, I don't uh, no judgment, but

Basiliso Moreno:

judgment at the same time. Um, you got to do what you got to do

Basiliso Moreno:

sometimes. But you know life insurance is not

Basiliso Moreno:

that that expensive. And obviously get life

Basiliso Moreno:

insurance especially when you're younger and you

Basiliso Moreno:

can always do term and convert it into whole

Basiliso Moreno:

life or just pay for a whole life. Just

Basiliso Moreno:

get, get something initially

Basiliso Moreno:

and which leads to my

Basiliso Moreno:

mom when she passed and like she

Basiliso Moreno:

was like always stressing out, paying like

Basiliso Moreno:

the bills and like money was kind of type, you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

between rent and I took over the cable bill

Basiliso Moreno:

and they should convert it into. So we all

Basiliso Moreno:

paid the phone and the cable was one bill. Like I got

Basiliso Moreno:

it, I changed it to my name so.

Basiliso Moreno:

Or her name anymore. And

Basiliso Moreno:

just kind of with the light bill and I

Basiliso Moreno:

was paying for

Basiliso Moreno:

groceries and

Basiliso Moreno:

um, you know, things of that nature

Basiliso Moreno:

day to day stuff that, that we need for the house and like,

Basiliso Moreno:

you know, they didn't have to give me no money for the kids. Like I

Basiliso Moreno:

did clothes shopping and

Basiliso Moreno:

food that they eat, whatever. So um,

Basiliso Moreno:

so when she passed, it was like you, you busted

Basiliso Moreno:

your behind for like a

Basiliso Moreno:

five thousand dollar life insurance policy. I can't even

Basiliso Moreno:

use that to get the casket

Basiliso Moreno:

for the casket. Like what the

Basiliso Moreno:

hell, right? I'm like literally looking at the

Basiliso Moreno:

sky like, oh, you gotta be kidding me, right?

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, so that the life insurance

Basiliso Moreno:

policy she took on me, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

I canceled it because I realized that it was trash.

Basiliso Moreno:

Especially as I started learning a little bit about

Basiliso Moreno:

life insurance more and try to get more bang for

Basiliso Moreno:

your buck. And so where did

Basiliso Moreno:

you go to.

Anthony Weaver:

Where did you go to learn more about that though, your

Anthony Weaver:

life insurance?

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, just like different, you know, podcasts

Basiliso Moreno:

I was listening to and different like financial

Basiliso Moreno:

people that I was like started watching on

Basiliso Moreno:

Instagram and then like YouTube

Basiliso Moreno:

stuff and

Basiliso Moreno:

um. Yeah, that's like uh, my

Basiliso Moreno:

initial. And then I started like buying financial

Basiliso Moreno:

books and like Tony Robbins stuff. And then more

Basiliso Moreno:

as more and more people started coming out with financial books kind

Basiliso Moreno:

of getting. And like I said, I'm still

Basiliso Moreno:

learning about, about that stuff. Kind of

Basiliso Moreno:

really get more bang bang for your

Basiliso Moreno:

buck in terms of, you know, life insurance policy now that I got

Basiliso Moreno:

home, like

Basiliso Moreno:

sure. That I was still

Basiliso Moreno:

technically under, under insured. So make sure.

Basiliso Moreno:

Hey for the house in case something that

Basiliso Moreno:

forbidden. So it's like I said at the beginning, it's like

Basiliso Moreno:

a work in progress. Um, so yeah. So

Basiliso Moreno:

then that's why I realized, all right, I gotta get, get some sort of

Basiliso Moreno:

insurance for that because he's not leaving the earth

Basiliso Moreno:

and not paying.

Basiliso Moreno:

Uh, then I gotta pay out of pocket

Basiliso Moreno:

for which using my nest egg. And

Basiliso Moreno:

pay for his funeral. No, I'm not doing that.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, so, yeah, so,

Basiliso Moreno:

so what, ah, what happened? You mentioned the funeral in

Basiliso Moreno:

the casket. So in New York. And again this happened

Basiliso Moreno:

during COVID So um, at

Basiliso Moreno:

least for me, I can only speak from my experience. Um,

Basiliso Moreno:

I. So she.

Basiliso Moreno:

Because she died Of COVID And

Basiliso Moreno:

Covid. No, you had to have

Basiliso Moreno:

the. Almost like the diagnosis. You gotta have, like, the

Basiliso Moreno:

cause of death has Covid being on the death

Basiliso Moreno:

certificate. So

Basiliso Moreno:

because of that,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, she positive, from what I was told,

Basiliso Moreno:

had to be automatically cremated

Basiliso Moreno:

because they didn't know

Basiliso Moreno:

whatever to transfer and whatever.

Basiliso Moreno:

And all the health workers in New York,

Basiliso Moreno:

you know, New York was. Was the. The

Basiliso Moreno:

epicenter, uh, of. Of the pandemic

Basiliso Moreno:

at the time. And this is May 2020 for people listening,

Basiliso Moreno:

so they gotta think back early on

Basiliso Moreno:

the beginning. We don't know what the heck will was going on.

Basiliso Moreno:

And because so many people in New York City were

Basiliso Moreno:

dying, they had to transport

Basiliso Moreno:

my mom's body to Connecticut to have the

Basiliso Moreno:

cremation done.

Anthony Weaver:

Wow.

Basiliso Moreno:

So I was basically paying for that

Basiliso Moreno:

and then having her cremated and then bring

Basiliso Moreno:

her back to New York. So I knew

Basiliso Moreno:

that and. Which was kind of

Basiliso Moreno:

weird because when I went to go pick up the

Basiliso Moreno:

ashes, um,

Basiliso Moreno:

they were having funeral services at the funeral

Basiliso Moreno:

home that I was having. So it was like,

Basiliso Moreno:

okay, so like a body situation.

Basiliso Moreno:

Not everybody was dying because of COVID

Basiliso Moreno:

Right. So I was like, why they having

Basiliso Moreno:

a couple funerals? I was kind of, like, afraid of going

Basiliso Moreno:

in. Yes. I had my mask on. I went

Basiliso Moreno:

like anywhere I had mask

Basiliso Moreno:

on at times. I was having gloves on. So I was

Basiliso Moreno:

kind of looking like blue man group for a

Basiliso Moreno:

hot minute a lot of the times, uh, wearing

Basiliso Moreno:

a mask in my own house because I was afraid

Basiliso Moreno:

my dad's autoimmune compromise. I was

Basiliso Moreno:

definitely afraid he was going to catch something.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, luckily,

Basiliso Moreno:

thank goodness, my, uh, my now wife, she

Basiliso Moreno:

worked at a preschool, so they went full remote

Basiliso Moreno:

and she was able to care for the

Basiliso Moreno:

kids, uh, while I was still had to go to the office

Basiliso Moreno:

initially, even for, like, because we weren't set

Basiliso Moreno:

up at all for remote. So I still had to go to the

Basiliso Moreno:

office, masked up and do I need.

Basiliso Moreno:

Still doing home visits. You know, it became like,

Basiliso Moreno:

emergency visits to see, um,

Basiliso Moreno:

my older adult clients. So it was a

Basiliso Moreno:

lot happening all at once. So that's

Basiliso Moreno:

why it sounds like I'm kind of over the. Over the

Basiliso Moreno:

place. Literally. Things were happening

Basiliso Moreno:

daily, weekly, as time went on, even

Basiliso Moreno:

try to, like, allow. Couldn't

Basiliso Moreno:

really, like, allow myself to

Basiliso Moreno:

grieve. Um, I did use my

Basiliso Moreno:

platform, my podcast. I did an episode, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

explaining how I felt after she passed. So my

Basiliso Moreno:

podcast became kind of like my own

Basiliso Moreno:

for my own mental health. Kind of like I need to pump out these

Basiliso Moreno:

episodes. And like I said, like, earlier, like, Like

Basiliso Moreno:

I was having all these ideas in my head, I literally

Basiliso Moreno:

tried whatever popped in my head I was kind of doing. And I

Basiliso Moreno:

came up with a social work spotlight

Basiliso Moreno:

series. Like, I need to know what is

Basiliso Moreno:

happening in the social

Basiliso Moreno:

realm. Boots on the ground that I'm not going to

Basiliso Moreno:

see on the news, I'm not going to see on, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, MSNBC. I'm not going to see on CNN what is

Basiliso Moreno:

happening in my community. So I started

Basiliso Moreno:

DMing all the social workers that I started following

Basiliso Moreno:

or was following. Like, like Michigan,

Basiliso Moreno:

Calif. Like Florida, like, literally

Basiliso Moreno:

started having, you know, conversations at

Basiliso Moreno:

adult social worker in Michigan. And like, literally,

Basiliso Moreno:

like when we started talking, it came on my

Basiliso Moreno:

podcast. Like the. The governor

Basiliso Moreno:

of Michigan had. Had literally has just gotten

Basiliso Moreno:

kidnapped in 2020.

Basiliso Moreno:

So we were like talking about that. Like, is your governor all right?

Basiliso Moreno:

Like, what's going on? It

Basiliso Moreno:

kind of go from there and building that. That network. And then

Basiliso Moreno:

I had my writing. Who my now my writing coaches on

Basiliso Moreno:

the podcast. And then I had like, uh, I actually had

Basiliso Moreno:

a Stanley cup hockey player talking about mental

Basiliso Moreno:

health on the podcast and kind of like started

Basiliso Moreno:

DMing people on. I started using

Basiliso Moreno:

LinkedIn more like DMing people like, hey, like, I

Basiliso Moreno:

got this podcast. You want to come on talk about mental health?

Basiliso Moreno:

And so literally, like, things were like, kind of

Basiliso Moreno:

like rolling along, like covert. Actually helped, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

me being more consistent. Releasing podcast episodes. Guys, I did

Basiliso Moreno:

like one, and then I went like, almost a month without one. Then I did another

Basiliso Moreno:

one. Then like became like every two weeks. And like, literally,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, it was coming like fast, Fast and

Basiliso Moreno:

furious. Like, giving resources about how to help social

Basiliso Moreno:

workers with COVID with their patients and

Basiliso Moreno:

their clients. And then it kind of began,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, growing even more. Just whatever idea

Basiliso Moreno:

popped in my head was like, doing it at the same time. Like, I

Basiliso Moreno:

was like, writing what became my poetry

Basiliso Moreno:

book. And then like a year later

Basiliso Moreno:

I had gotten, um, an opportunity

Basiliso Moreno:

to, uh, be a co author of.

Basiliso Moreno:

Of a book series called Latinx Latin A

Basiliso Moreno:

in Social Work. It was like volume one that came out and

Basiliso Moreno:

was received so well. So I got the

Basiliso Moreno:

opportunity to do volume two

Basiliso Moreno:

and I was like,

Basiliso Moreno:

I wanted to share the story of the

Basiliso Moreno:

kids with their mom and what a

Basiliso Moreno:

little bit I went through in our relationship. And

Basiliso Moreno:

like, the end of the relationship, it kind

Basiliso Moreno:

of. And I wanted to get it out

Basiliso Moreno:

somehow. And like, I wasn't ready to

Basiliso Moreno:

necessarily go to therapy. I'm in the mental health space, but

Basiliso Moreno:

I wasn't ready to go to therapy

Basiliso Moreno:

myself yet.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, so, like, I

Basiliso Moreno:

straight up asked my kids, like, hey, I had this idea,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, I want to kind of share, just give

Basiliso Moreno:

like, kind of tidbits

Basiliso Moreno:

of what

Basiliso Moreno:

happened. And like, I. So I eventually,

Basiliso Moreno:

as they got older, I kind of gave like the Cliff

Basiliso Moreno:

notes of how their mom passed away. So

Basiliso Moreno:

they know it's because of her alcohol, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

addiction. And like, they knew like, alcohol played a

Basiliso Moreno:

part of her passing

Basiliso Moreno:

away. Uh, so

Basiliso Moreno:

it's like, yeah, they gave me their blessing and,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, I wrote it. And it was like,

Basiliso Moreno:

as soon as the book came out, like, my daughter

Basiliso Moreno:

grabbed a copy and went right to my chapter and started

Basiliso Moreno:

reading it. And I was like, this girl gonna ask me some

Basiliso Moreno:

questions. So every once in a while, like, show

Basiliso Moreno:

it be at the worst time. But because

Basiliso Moreno:

she, like, she's the time aspect.

Basiliso Moreno:

Time has a concept, isn't. Is not her strongest

Basiliso Moreno:

suit. Uh, so she'll ask me questions in

Basiliso Moreno:

like the wrong setting and it'll be something personal.

Basiliso Moreno:

Like, I love to answer this question, but

Basiliso Moreno:

right now it's not the right setting. We think about it

Basiliso Moreno:

again later on when we get back home or I promise

Basiliso Moreno:

I'll answer that question for you. So the

Basiliso Moreno:

parenting always, like, will continue,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, for even like

Basiliso Moreno:

beyond after passing, uh, away and kind of

Basiliso Moreno:

like just try to groom

Basiliso Moreno:

them and like, for having their mom

Basiliso Moreno:

passing away so young,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, and moving from

Basiliso Moreno:

New Jersey to New York and basically, they're

Basiliso Moreno:

basically New Yorkers, even though, like, they

Basiliso Moreno:

were Jersey natives and living from New York for

Basiliso Moreno:

such a long period of time and then moving

Basiliso Moreno:

to Delaware, like, all that

Basiliso Moreno:

that came with it and you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

pandemic during

Basiliso Moreno:

homeschooling, which was freaking

Basiliso Moreno:

torturous as a parent. Put

Basiliso Moreno:

your goddamn camera on.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, to everything. They're like,

Basiliso Moreno:

well adjusted,

Basiliso Moreno:

no good, no

Basiliso Moreno:

human beings. They taught me more about resiliency than,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, without even like having to

Basiliso Moreno:

really teach just their day to day, like

Basiliso Moreno:

this kids being kids, like watching YouTube and

Basiliso Moreno:

all the stupidness they watch on YouTube and

Basiliso Moreno:

talking to me about it and like they're, they're.

Basiliso Moreno:

They're famous people on YouTube telling me about it. So now I

Basiliso Moreno:

kind of have to learn about it because nowadays, like in the pop

Basiliso Moreno:

culture and things that I watch in the sports

Basiliso Moreno:

realm and things like that, like, oh, that's. That guy is.

Basiliso Moreno:

Oh, okay, whatever. So it's

Basiliso Moreno:

like, you know, I couldn't ask

Basiliso Moreno:

for better human

Basiliso Moreno:

beings as m my kids. And now I'm giving

Basiliso Moreno:

myself. I finally this year

Basiliso Moreno:

went to therapy. So I finally get myself the grace and

Basiliso Moreno:

congrats to give myself the

Basiliso Moreno:

kudos. Like, I did the best I could at the time and

Basiliso Moreno:

kind of like, because I literally, Thanksgiving last

Basiliso Moreno:

year was like, um, I don't know,

Basiliso Moreno:

something happened. Well, I finally got covered after, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

almost four years.

Anthony Weaver:

Oh, wow. Okay.

Basiliso Moreno:

And it did something in my brain because,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, literally everything that came in, in my

Basiliso Moreno:

head came straight out of my mouth. So I literally

Basiliso Moreno:

talked my, uh, wife's ear off all

Basiliso Moreno:

of Thanksgiving weekends. And to

Basiliso Moreno:

the point that she thought, like, are, uh, you right? You may

Basiliso Moreno:

have to go to the hospital or something. Like, what's going on with

Basiliso Moreno:

you? And like, no, I'm all right. You just have to be patient with

Basiliso Moreno:

me. And like, all right.

Basiliso Moreno:

At that point I was like, all right, 2024, I'm

Basiliso Moreno:

going to therapy. Like, I gotta get all this out. So

Basiliso Moreno:

I've been doing that. It's been wonders. Men,

Basiliso Moreno:

please go to therapy. Uh, it's okay not to be

Basiliso Moreno:

okay, but go, go see. Go seek help. Especially, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

people of color, period. But just because I know there's

Basiliso Moreno:

such a stigma that, um, and

Basiliso Moreno:

I talk about my podcasts all the time. It's okay not to be

Basiliso Moreno:

okay, but get the help that you need is 9,

Basiliso Moreno:

8, 8. You don't even

Basiliso Moreno:

have to use 911-911. But

Basiliso Moreno:

988-911- there's great people of color who are

Basiliso Moreno:

awesome therapists. And there's different.

Basiliso Moreno:

It's not what you see on TV about

Basiliso Moreno:

laying on the couch and talking your business off,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, is so many different aspects. There's like,

Basiliso Moreno:

ketamine therapy now. There's so many

Basiliso Moreno:

different variations of therapy

Basiliso Moreno:

and stuff that you could do whatever you're comfortable with,

Basiliso Moreno:

but at least just start.

Anthony Weaver:

Yeah. And as we're coming up on the third

Anthony Weaver:

segment here, and this is about you really,

Anthony Weaver:

um, what skills or habits do you feel that's going to

Anthony Weaver:

take you to the next level?

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, just try to be consistent. Like, a

Basiliso Moreno:

couple years ago, I finally hired a business

Basiliso Moreno:

coach because at, uh, a mix of

Basiliso Moreno:

2020, like, I, uh, um, I'm still

Basiliso Moreno:

technically a licensed Zumba instructor.

Basiliso Moreno:

So at the time I was trying to

Basiliso Moreno:

merge, um, Zumba

Basiliso Moreno:

with, like, poetry, especially after I wrote my

Basiliso Moreno:

book. However, when you start a business,

Basiliso Moreno:

definitely do market research to see

Basiliso Moreno:

if actually people are willing to buy

Basiliso Moreno:

a product, ah, or service. And I did not do that.

Basiliso Moreno:

Even I got. I got caught up in the

Basiliso Moreno:

2020 vibe of Go get an

Basiliso Moreno:

LLC, especially when we got the first Covid checks. Go. Go get an

Basiliso Moreno:

LLC with the COVID check. So I got an

Basiliso Moreno:

LLC in 2020.

Basiliso Moreno:

It kind of. That was like the very beginnings. And,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, I did some classes online and didn't

Basiliso Moreno:

have had very few sign ups and kind of

Basiliso Moreno:

like even like much stuff was happening. I'm

Basiliso Moreno:

giving proceeds out to uh, whatever, like a

Basiliso Moreno:

natural disaster. I know I did a for when

Basiliso Moreno:

Hurricane Maria happened in Puerto Rico. Like proceeds

Basiliso Moreno:

happened to this organization and still didn't have like a

Basiliso Moreno:

lot of sign ups. So like, all right, I'm gonna have to like

Basiliso Moreno:

pivot and change, like do a whole rebrand.

Basiliso Moreno:

So let me go get a business coach and ah,

Basiliso Moreno:

like I'm in this like learning about

Basiliso Moreno:

finances. Why can't I help my, my people out

Basiliso Moreno:

especially I'm um, still in this. The sandwich

Basiliso Moreno:

generation still came from my dad. My dad was

Basiliso Moreno:

still living in New York. Like he refused to come come to

Basiliso Moreno:

Delaware to the point, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

like he didn't have a choice. Um, because in

Basiliso Moreno:

New York, and this comes to finances. So New

Basiliso Moreno:

York as much I couldn't stand the, the

Basiliso Moreno:

mayor and the governor,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, at the time was de Blasio and Governor

Basiliso Moreno:

Cuomo who resigned.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, and I'm a

Basiliso Moreno:

Democrat, but I couldn't, couldn't stand either one of

Basiliso Moreno:

them. Um, they did

Basiliso Moreno:

um, in New York City was

Basiliso Moreno:

they were helping out people paying their rent.

Basiliso Moreno:

Like if you were behind or you

Basiliso Moreno:

were like, you knew you was going to be

Basiliso Moreno:

behind or if you were already behind, they were helping pay for

Basiliso Moreno:

like up to like three or four months of rent

Basiliso Moreno:

you would have to take. Especially if

Basiliso Moreno:

someone uh, had passed away from COVID and you

Basiliso Moreno:

had to have the death certificate. And in

Basiliso Moreno:

the death certificate they had to had the

Basiliso Moreno:

word uh as the cause of death.

Basiliso Moreno:

Like you will send the paperwork over to the city

Basiliso Moreno:

and then they will get cut a check

Basiliso Moreno:

or give the check directly to the

Basiliso Moreno:

landlord and your rent will be

Basiliso Moreno:

covered for up to like three or four months.

Basiliso Moreno:

Uh, so that's exactly what I did. I was

Basiliso Moreno:

um. So my dad was able

Basiliso Moreno:

to stay there. I was

Basiliso Moreno:

paying. So I had finally got my

Basiliso Moreno:

mortgage, got my house in February

Basiliso Moreno:

2021. However, I

Basiliso Moreno:

was helping them pay with some of the rent. I don't

Basiliso Moreno:

think it covered the whole thing, but it covered

Basiliso Moreno:

most of the rents. I had to like come up with the rest

Basiliso Moreno:

plus pay my mortgage. And that really kind of

Basiliso Moreno:

like messed me up because I finally started investing in

Basiliso Moreno:

the stock market for the first time. There you go, 2020.

Basiliso Moreno:

So. And then I got, I got a. I

Basiliso Moreno:

set up some uh, UGMA accounts for my kids. So I was

Basiliso Moreno:

learning all this and try to put it into practice

Basiliso Moreno:

and then like you messing me up because I gotta give you the money

Basiliso Moreno:

for rent that I could have used to put it in the market

Basiliso Moreno:

especially. Everything was tanking. So like uh, getting,

Basiliso Moreno:

getting Apple and getting Microsoft and like, you

Basiliso Moreno:

know, voo.

Basiliso Moreno:

So, um, until a point was

Basiliso Moreno:

like, I have money up to

Basiliso Moreno:

this month. After this month, I can't give you no more

Basiliso Moreno:

money. Um, and that's basically

Basiliso Moreno:

why I didn't late and things going on.

Basiliso Moreno:

Three, about to be three years that he moved in with me. And like

Basiliso Moreno:

literally, uh, right before Thanksgiving in

Basiliso Moreno:

2022,

Basiliso Moreno:

they're like, that's it. Like, you come.

Basiliso Moreno:

We're coming in. So literally like that,

Basiliso Moreno:

that program, the city kind of went two months,

Basiliso Moreno:

couple of months without being used. Like, whatever. Like, you need to

Basiliso Moreno:

come with me. I can't do the back and forth driving up

Basiliso Moreno:

to Delaware or taking the train to. Taking the

Basiliso Moreno:

Amtrak to come see you, make sure you're all right and kind

Basiliso Moreno:

of like help you out with stuff. Like no, like you can

Basiliso Moreno:

come with me. This space. I got space in the house.

Basiliso Moreno:

We figure out your medication situation. We

Basiliso Moreno:

figure out a program. So there I did sign them

Basiliso Moreno:

up for a program where care

Basiliso Moreno:

they have. They have their own network work of

Basiliso Moreno:

doctors. So he needed, you know, uh, a kitty

Basiliso Moreno:

doctor. He needed cardiologists.

Basiliso Moreno:

He needs to get his blood work drawn like a weekly, on a

Basiliso Moreno:

weekly basis. And I found a program down here that

Basiliso Moreno:

he. All that stuff done. And it's

Basiliso Moreno:

covered mostly by his. His Medicare

Basiliso Moreno:

and he's. So he has managed Medicaid along with

Basiliso Moreno:

Medicare. So most of that. So

Basiliso Moreno:

it's like very little out of pocket

Basiliso Moreno:

expenses coming out of me as his

Basiliso Moreno:

caretaker caregiver for that. So it's called a

Basiliso Moreno:

PACE program. I forgot the.

Basiliso Moreno:

Always forget the name of his pivot

Basiliso Moreno:

persons for all inclusive care, something like

Basiliso Moreno:

that. I forgot the exact name for it. But if you

Basiliso Moreno:

look up PACE programs, uh, for the elderly, you

Basiliso Moreno:

know, Google that up and they're popping up a little

Basiliso Moreno:

bit, you know, nationwide here and there. So, um,

Basiliso Moreno:

there's a few of them in New York City where

Basiliso Moreno:

I'm from. There's one. At least one here in Delaware.

Basiliso Moreno:

There was a second one that was trying to open. Open up.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, so that. That can

Basiliso Moreno:

help. It's not the greatest in the world, but at

Basiliso Moreno:

least it was something. Yeah.

Basiliso Moreno:

Because all that, like, I would have had to be like

Basiliso Moreno:

taking FMLA and be taking them to appointments

Basiliso Moreno:

and stuff like that and then

Basiliso Moreno:

be like not working and kind of care for him. And

Basiliso Moreno:

that's a whole other story like unpaid caregiving.

Basiliso Moreno:

That's. That's a huge thing. And I know,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, Vice President Harris is trying to

Basiliso Moreno:

help that with, um, at least recently

Basiliso Moreno:

came out with a proposal to have

Basiliso Moreno:

Medicare pay for. For home care, you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

services. So let's see if that,

Basiliso Moreno:

if, if that happens. But yeah, caregiving.

Basiliso Moreno:

The struggle is real in caregiving and,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, caregiving from my mom, literally, um,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, when she came home from the nursing home, she was pretty much

Basiliso Moreno:

bed bound. Uh, so I literally was

Basiliso Moreno:

changing diapers and wiping her and

Basiliso Moreno:

literally like the circle of life

Basiliso Moreno:

happening and

Basiliso Moreno:

was sucked about it

Basiliso Moreno:

for, um, me personally,

Basiliso Moreno:

physically. Um, I had gotten injured

Basiliso Moreno:

playing pickup basketball. So I

Basiliso Moreno:

had like, uh, I had

Basiliso Moreno:

like a sprained ligament in one of my fingers that I couldn't

Basiliso Moreno:

like even like lift up my finger for. For like a

Basiliso Moreno:

few months. Um, and then I had got diagnosed

Basiliso Moreno:

with two herniated discs in my back. Uh, so

Basiliso Moreno:

I literally changed the. Changing the diapers and

Basiliso Moreno:

wiping. I was. My back

Basiliso Moreno:

was on fire, right? So I was

Basiliso Moreno:

like. But, you know, as. As parents

Basiliso Moreno:

especially, you know, as kids especially, you

Basiliso Moreno:

know, traditionally in Latino homes,

Basiliso Moreno:

we, like, we were taught

Basiliso Moreno:

for our parents and stuff. Like, I, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

would do it, you know, all over again to, to the point where,

Basiliso Moreno:

you know, uh, I couldn't do it anymore. And

Basiliso Moreno:

when. And so she went to the.

Basiliso Moreno:

I called 91 1,

Basiliso Moreno:

so like kind of like the two week, like. So basically

Basiliso Moreno:

she lasted a month in the

Basiliso Moreno:

house after being in the nursing home

Basiliso Moreno:

for so many months. Uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

so this was April world

Basiliso Moreno:

shut. Already shut down. Covid is running

Basiliso Moreno:

rampant all over the place.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, I'm working from home. Finally got. Got

Basiliso Moreno:

to work from home. Um, and then

Basiliso Moreno:

I, I want to get something to drink. So did I hear mom

Basiliso Moreno:

coughing? She's taking her meds and on Gatorade, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

and like she's um, choking on

Basiliso Moreno:

Gatorade. Like, the heck is wrong with you? Like choking on some

Basiliso Moreno:

Gatorade. To the point like, it got really bad

Basiliso Moreno:

that like our face turned. Turned red. I was

Basiliso Moreno:

like, do I need to call like our pcp? That's not going to

Basiliso Moreno:

work. Like, maybe call straight up, call 91 1.

Basiliso Moreno:

So of course, in New York, call

Basiliso Moreno:

91 1. Like literally in the hallway, the

Basiliso Moreno:

EMS came and then basically kind of said my

Basiliso Moreno:

goodbyes, thinking I'm. I'm not going to see her again.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, so by the grace of

Basiliso Moreno:

God, who. I can't remember this doctor's name.

Basiliso Moreno:

So that weekend I actually have a conversation

Basiliso Moreno:

with her. Uh, the doctor,

Basiliso Moreno:

God bless his doctor used WhatsApp

Basiliso Moreno:

to call me while I was in

Basiliso Moreno:

the hospital. So I was able to have a

Basiliso Moreno:

conversation with her. It's like. And she

Basiliso Moreno:

was alert, oriented enough to

Basiliso Moreno:

know she was in the hospital. Like she was

Basiliso Moreno:

asking me to come visit her. Like, I can't see you. Like

Basiliso Moreno:

we can't see patients who were covert in the hospital.

Basiliso Moreno:

As much as I kind of want to and did

Basiliso Moreno:

not want to because I got to think about me

Basiliso Moreno:

and the kids.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, and then to the point I

Basiliso Moreno:

told the doctor. So she came home. She

Basiliso Moreno:

spent a week in the hospital, came home and like,

Basiliso Moreno:

literally, like no facial

Basiliso Moreno:

expression, flat affect as uh you call it, social

Basiliso Moreno:

work. Like, I could see the

Basiliso Moreno:

moment she came out of the

Basiliso Moreno:

ambulance. I noticed a difference right away. Like,

Basiliso Moreno:

what's wrong with you? She couldn't really speak. She just wanted.

Basiliso Moreno:

All she could say was water. Like some, you know, uh, like she

Basiliso Moreno:

wanted water. They gave her some water. Like, literally,

Basiliso Moreno:

she. And still. Technically still had

Basiliso Moreno:

covet. So it was like now I'm like, I got

Basiliso Moreno:

a COVID patient with my mom in the house

Basiliso Moreno:

with an autoimmune compromised

Basiliso Moreno:

dad in the house. The one bedroom

Basiliso Moreno:

apartment you gotta cut through where he sleeps

Basiliso Moreno:

at to go to the living room is. There's no

Basiliso Moreno:

covering. So any air that's just breathing.

Basiliso Moreno:

We sharing the air. I, uh, worry about

Basiliso Moreno:

that his doctors are calling me like

Basiliso Moreno:

now when we never had conversations before. You worried

Basiliso Moreno:

about him, like trying to say he

Basiliso Moreno:

can't house. He has to. Like, I have no other

Basiliso Moreno:

family that he could go to to. So

Basiliso Moreno:

if he's going to catch it, he's going to catch it. Or we deal with

Basiliso Moreno:

it. Um,

Basiliso Moreno:

so. Damn doctors.

Basiliso Moreno:

At least my dad's doctors might be your next.

Anthony Weaver:

Your next profession.

Basiliso Moreno:

Yeah. So it's like

Basiliso Moreno:

all that's happening, like, uh, no more. But

Basiliso Moreno:

I'm gonna call now. She's gonna go back to the hospital the next day,

Basiliso Moreno:

let her like chill in the house and we follow up

Basiliso Moreno:

the next morning. So literally

Basiliso Moreno:

still she couldn't really talk anything of

Basiliso Moreno:

like this is. This is not right.

Basiliso Moreno:

Some new flight

Basiliso Moreno:

covert did something that affected

Basiliso Moreno:

her mentally. Something and. And the doctors

Basiliso Moreno:

couldn't figure it out. They were like, I, uh, literally, I was

Basiliso Moreno:

telling that I literally had a conversation with her

Basiliso Moreno:

Friday, Saturday. Like one of your doctors

Basiliso Moreno:

is what's call me. I, uh, had a

Basiliso Moreno:

conversation with her. She was alert

Basiliso Moreno:

or it's a little confused, but she

Basiliso Moreno:

was. We had a whole conversation. It couldn't figure it

Basiliso Moreno:

out. I had to tell him, like, if

Basiliso Moreno:

she were to come home again, I can't physically care for her.

Basiliso Moreno:

She needs to go to a nursing home

Basiliso Moreno:

long term. So able

Basiliso Moreno:

to work, uh, it out and find a

Basiliso Moreno:

home literally not far from me

Basiliso Moreno:

at home at all. Like maybe like a half

Basiliso Moreno:

hour walking distance. Like I could take

Basiliso Moreno:

a one bus and just go up there or just walk.

Basiliso Moreno:

I did the walk like a million times as,

Basiliso Moreno:

as a kid going to school. So like she was

Basiliso Moreno:

so, as they say, so close yet so far. And in

Basiliso Moreno:

New York City, um, you couldn't

Basiliso Moreno:

um, visit still, still visit

Basiliso Moreno:

patients in a nursing home either. So it's

Basiliso Moreno:

like, like literally I could walk to you, but I

Basiliso Moreno:

can't see you. And so literally like

Basiliso Moreno:

her body starts shutting down. I got a call Saturday,

Basiliso Moreno:

like her body's like literally kind of shutting down. Which, you know, we

Basiliso Moreno:

monitoring her. And then Sunday, May, May

Basiliso Moreno:

3, 2020, I get 5:00 in the morning, get the call that

Basiliso Moreno:

she had passed away.

Basiliso Moreno:

And I didn't sleep

Basiliso Moreno:

to like past midnight. Monday morning

Basiliso Moreno:

was like, I need to go to bed. I've been up like the whole

Basiliso Moreno:

time. Like I had to tell my dad. Oh,

Basiliso Moreno:

like sisters. One sister living

Basiliso Moreno:

demons to her, to a cousin that was

Basiliso Moreno:

like her sister, her two sisters and Puerto Rico,

Basiliso Moreno:

like a couple friends that, that mom

Basiliso Moreno:

had. Mom have a few friends. Like she didn't like to go

Basiliso Moreno:

out. Let's was doctor's appointments or the supermarket.

Basiliso Moreno:

So like when they called like, hey, they want to talk to her

Basiliso Moreno:

because they didn't know like hey, by the way, like my pass. So

Basiliso Moreno:

it was like, um, initially like

Basiliso Moreno:

my, my, my girlfriend was

Basiliso Moreno:

not my wife. Like I was staying in her house

Basiliso Moreno:

when I got the calls because on the weekends I would

Basiliso Moreno:

go and stay with the kids and stay with her.

Anthony Weaver:

Right?

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, so literally like

Basiliso Moreno:

she was right there with me when I got the call and

Basiliso Moreno:

like was still up. And when the

Basiliso Moreno:

kids woke up like, hey, um, your grandma

Basiliso Moreno:

passed away, just all we could do is just hug,

Basiliso Moreno:

hug them. And like, uh, it

Basiliso Moreno:

was, it was a lot like that that day

Basiliso Moreno:

and was able to come home, like telling my dad, like, hey,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, they called me from the nursing home, mom

Basiliso Moreno:

passed away. It was like kind of like still

Basiliso Moreno:

kind of like deal with it. Like, so I try

Basiliso Moreno:

to set some boundaries for

Basiliso Moreno:

myself. Um, and then I told my

Basiliso Moreno:

wife this all the time. Like, I can't

Basiliso Moreno:

do my grief and his

Basiliso Moreno:

grief at the same time. Like I do,

Basiliso Moreno:

I can only do me and for

Basiliso Moreno:

my own sanity and from my own mental health,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, I do what I can for

Basiliso Moreno:

him. Um, but

Basiliso Moreno:

when you have a parent who's basically still

Basiliso Moreno:

living, but it's basically a broken off kind of like

Basiliso Moreno:

broken spirit. Um, because even like Six months before that,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, his only brother had passed away too. So it's like,

Basiliso Moreno:

literally he's having back to back,

Basiliso Moreno:

you know, deaths. And so

Basiliso Moreno:

to him, he's ready for him. He always says he's ready

Basiliso Moreno:

to go. Maybe there's a, uh, Latino old school thing, like

Basiliso Moreno:

your calamity. Yeah, I hear it, like, all the time. It's a point.

Basiliso Moreno:

It's annoying and

Basiliso Moreno:

frustrating at the same time too. But that's

Basiliso Moreno:

the reality of myself in the sandwich generation. Kind of hear

Basiliso Moreno:

that. It kind of like give, uh, them that listening

Basiliso Moreno:

ear as. Use my social work, uh, skills. Or to a point

Basiliso Moreno:

where, like, all right, you said the same thing two times, and then

Basiliso Moreno:

you're about to say it again the third time, let me go. Like,

Basiliso Moreno:

all right, I'm gonna m. Go to walk away from the situation.

Basiliso Moreno:

So, uh, so it's like, you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

doing that and. And he's old. You know, the old school

Basiliso Moreno:

mentality. It was like, I don't want a therapist.

Basiliso Moreno:

We talk about seeing a counselor all the time,

Basiliso Moreno:

and it's being offered for him at the program that he's in. And

Basiliso Moreno:

it's like, nope, I'm not not doing that. Uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

if I want to say something, I tell my son and me, I'm

Basiliso Moreno:

like, you ain't gonna

Basiliso Moreno:

tell me only so much. That's it.

Basiliso Moreno:

So much. Yes. I was like,

Basiliso Moreno:

dealing with that. So when it comes to estate planning, as

Basiliso Moreno:

we talk about, you know, finances, uh, so he said,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, I'm done. Just like, cremate me like that. We do. You do

Basiliso Moreno:

whatever you want with me. So for him

Basiliso Moreno:

is very simple. Whether he might

Basiliso Moreno:

change his,

Basiliso Moreno:

his mind about that, then he has to let me

Basiliso Moreno:

know. I mean, I'm not going to bring it up like that's what you want to do.

Basiliso Moreno:

It's simple. Like, I, like, like when

Basiliso Moreno:

I buried finally, it took me two and a half years to finally

Basiliso Moreno:

bury my mom's ashes. Um, I

Basiliso Moreno:

wanted, like, I. When I talked

Basiliso Moreno:

about moving to Delaware, like, when I talked to her about it, you

Basiliso Moreno:

come and live with me. We'll figure out, make sure

Basiliso Moreno:

when we get a house that you have a space for you that

Basiliso Moreno:

whatever for your own. Your own

Basiliso Moreno:

personal room, whatever.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um, that didn't

Basiliso Moreno:

materialize. But she's here in

Basiliso Moreno:

spirit. Uh, finally, like, had buried her ashes.

Basiliso Moreno:

They got. They gave me. So they gave me a

Basiliso Moreno:

string bag with a box and.

Basiliso Moreno:

The box. Yeah, with the box. So it's

Basiliso Moreno:

like you guys, like, these people actually gave me

Basiliso Moreno:

like a string. String.

Basiliso Moreno:

Like, what the asses in there

Basiliso Moreno:

and Like, I remember clearly. Like, we, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

so it wasn't. The funeral home. Wasn't

Basiliso Moreno:

far from where, uh, she stayed at

Basiliso Moreno:

all those months in the nursing home trying to.

Basiliso Moreno:

Because she broke to. She broke her ankle in both

Basiliso Moreno:

places. In two places. Like, there was like, her left ankle. I

Basiliso Moreno:

don't remember. Um, and she had a history of the

Basiliso Moreno:

falls. Had like, vertigo and stuff like that. So, like, she. She

Basiliso Moreno:

was prone to falls. And the fall

Basiliso Moreno:

that she had before that, like, months ago, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

she had like, seven staples in her

Basiliso Moreno:

head. I was. I was like, the next fall you're gonna have

Basiliso Moreno:

is really gonna be bad. And unfortunately, I was

Basiliso Moreno:

right. And spent all that time in a nursing

Basiliso Moreno:

home. Spent her birthday in a nursing home. Spent

Basiliso Moreno:

my birthday in the nursing home. Spent Thanksgiving,

Basiliso Moreno:

Christmas in a nursing home. And then

Basiliso Moreno:

like, the new year came in

Basiliso Moreno:

2020. And then

Basiliso Moreno:

Covid started in. Is like.

Basiliso Moreno:

Like I said earlier, the. Came home right before the

Basiliso Moreno:

shutdown happened, which I'm glad it. It did,

Basiliso Moreno:

because at least I got to stay

Basiliso Moreno:

home, care for her for, you know, it was a month. And

Basiliso Moreno:

like, it. What

Basiliso Moreno:

happened, happened. Um, so at least I got that month with her that

Basiliso Moreno:

she came home. Uh, and I

Basiliso Moreno:

was. I was complaining the whole time because I

Basiliso Moreno:

was working and then come home and change

Basiliso Moreno:

diapers. And we, like, we made it work. My dad and I got.

Basiliso Moreno:

God bless. Like, we. We made it work

Basiliso Moreno:

for that month. But

Basiliso Moreno:

say, like, you know, when the time comes,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, my dad passes like

Basiliso Moreno:

that when. So when I took my mom's

Basiliso Moreno:

ashes and they're like, oh, you know,

Basiliso Moreno:

there's space here that you can have more than one

Basiliso Moreno:

person. The. If you want to. You

Basiliso Moreno:

obviously just gotta pay a little extra for it, but

Basiliso Moreno:

there's space. So, like, the plan is

Basiliso Moreno:

that when that happens,

Basiliso Moreno:

call you up the ashes

Basiliso Moreno:

and, uh, my parents will be

Basiliso Moreno:

together in. In the

Basiliso Moreno:

ditch in the cemetery. So sometimes I think

Basiliso Moreno:

he's going to outlive me. So that's why I need to get that trust.

Basiliso Moreno:

That trust going. Because he got more lives than the cat,

Basiliso Moreno:

right to the point. Like, like, we had, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

Covid pretty much at the same time

Basiliso Moreno:

period, too. So it was like,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, literally when people say f. Covert, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

like a living testament. Like, really,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, I. I have

Basiliso Moreno:

the respect for it because of the

Basiliso Moreno:

unknown and everything that's happened to different people,

Basiliso Moreno:

different situations. But, like,

Basiliso Moreno:

literally, like, covert at

Basiliso Moreno:

the same time. Because, like, when I had it,

Basiliso Moreno:

I was like. It

Basiliso Moreno:

was just like. Like, kind of like brought me back to 2020. Like,

Basiliso Moreno:

damn, like, I got it. I like how bad

Basiliso Moreno:

you were like messing with me as. And

Basiliso Moreno:

I wasn't like, so, so bad. I definitely felt

Basiliso Moreno:

like going up the stairs. Like I had like really

Basiliso Moreno:

take. Take some breaths and didn't help

Basiliso Moreno:

them. Like, I still got the covered rate away from

Basiliso Moreno:

2020 didn't help. I got married, so now I got the, the love

Basiliso Moreno:

pounds with the COVID pounds together and gained all this weight.

Basiliso Moreno:

But going upstairs,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, I'm definitely like, felt like out of

Basiliso Moreno:

breath and like had like a sore throat

Basiliso Moreno:

a little bit. I sound extra sexy actually when I have a sore

Basiliso Moreno:

throat. Like, I, like, I could hit the like the baritone and

Basiliso Moreno:

stuff, the Barry White going

Basiliso Moreno:

on. So I was like, so like.

Basiliso Moreno:

So I told my wife, you know, when it's, you know, when I get through with

Basiliso Moreno:

this, like, if I still got the voice, you're

Basiliso Moreno:

in trouble. Uh, so

Basiliso Moreno:

I actually did a couple episodes, podcast episode

Basiliso Moreno:

messed up. So like go on my YouTube. You

Basiliso Moreno:

actually see me with the mask. I did a couple of episodes

Basiliso Moreno:

while having covered like I had,

Basiliso Moreno:

dude, like just from my own mental sanity. I still had to

Basiliso Moreno:

like release episode. I think I had a

Basiliso Moreno:

cave away. Like, you gonna see me with a mask. I

Basiliso Moreno:

got Covid, but I still want to do the episodes. So I

Basiliso Moreno:

may sound a little hoarse, whatever, but I still want to get

Basiliso Moreno:

it, get it going. So I did that. So like I said,

Basiliso Moreno:

like, my podcast has been a big part of my own

Basiliso Moreno:

mental, uh, sanity these last

Basiliso Moreno:

four years while helping other social workers

Basiliso Moreno:

both see. So the new MSW students that continue

Basiliso Moreno:

to come in into our profession and learn new skills

Basiliso Moreno:

in different ways, that we're not just, you know, child

Basiliso Moreno:

welfare workers. We could do so many things without

Basiliso Moreno:

profession, like try to monetize social work

Basiliso Moreno:

podcasts or write a book, write multiple books or

Basiliso Moreno:

do speaking engagements by trying to get into more

Basiliso Moreno:

speaking engagements. Uh, um,

Basiliso Moreno:

recently I've done speaking engagements. I was in Dallas

Basiliso Moreno:

like in 2023. I was, I was in

Basiliso Moreno:

Atlanta earlier this year doing the presentation I've

Basiliso Moreno:

done when the book, uh, Social Work Latinx Social

Basiliso Moreno:

Work came out. I did a presentation talking about

Basiliso Moreno:

my chapter a little bit. And

Basiliso Moreno:

um, so, yes, I'm just trying to

Basiliso Moreno:

monetize all these skills that I built and figure

Basiliso Moreno:

out best way to try to do that.

Anthony Weaver:

Yeah, I mean, that's one of the things about your story is that you

Anthony Weaver:

have so many elements to deep dive into.

Anthony Weaver:

Uh, so I mean, speaking on it

Anthony Weaver:

from experience and really sharing your story. Like,

Anthony Weaver:

again, I, uh, just want to commend you on,

Anthony Weaver:

you know, not just letting the grief overwhelm

Anthony Weaver:

you to the point where you're just kind of in the

Anthony Weaver:

hole and just by yourself and just

Anthony Weaver:

like cutting yourself off from the world. It seems like you did the

Anthony Weaver:

complete opposite, which is you opened yourself up to the world

Anthony Weaver:

and really share your knowledge, share your

Anthony Weaver:

experience and really leaning

Anthony Weaver:

into the social work community on the power that you

Anthony Weaver:

guys do for uh, the community.

Anthony Weaver:

Um, but with that being said, you ready for the

Anthony Weaver:

final four questions?

Basiliso Moreno:

Yes.

Anthony Weaver:

All righty.

Anthony Weaver:

So number one, what does

Anthony Weaver:

wealth mean to you.

Basiliso Moreno:

Man? Um, having the

Basiliso Moreno:

time and I realize it more now,

Basiliso Moreno:

like having the time to do what you want

Basiliso Moreno:

to do. Whatever. Mhm.

Basiliso Moreno:

That that means for you whatever

Basiliso Moreno:

you want to do. Um, would be

Basiliso Moreno:

work wise is being at home more. Whatever.

Basiliso Moreno:

Like I would love to be. Be at home more and

Basiliso Moreno:

kind of do things that,

Basiliso Moreno:

that I want to do even more and that that's a goal for me but

Basiliso Moreno:

definitely having the time to do what you want to do.

Anthony Weaver:

All right, number two, what was

Anthony Weaver:

your worst money mistake?

Basiliso Moreno:

There's quite, there's quite a few. I mean

Basiliso Moreno:

um,

Basiliso Moreno:

I try not to make them many

Basiliso Moreno:

mistakes now

Basiliso Moreno:

especially when we stole an inflation

Basiliso Moreno:

um,

Basiliso Moreno:

so I try no obviously

Basiliso Moreno:

like I'm not that great organized.

Basiliso Moreno:

I improve my organization but

Basiliso Moreno:

definitely like I um, like missed payments on

Basiliso Moreno:

credit cards or

Basiliso Moreno:

definitely um want to say probably like it got. I

Basiliso Moreno:

got caught up in getting like business

Basiliso Moreno:

credit that even my

Basiliso Moreno:

business despite not having a real

Basiliso Moreno:

solid product or service. I have a product or service

Basiliso Moreno:

now but like 2020

Basiliso Moreno:

these cards and kind of you using them. Um, I

Basiliso Moreno:

still use like I know my podcast is

Basiliso Moreno:

now the name is trademarked so I

Basiliso Moreno:

paid for that. You know I pay for my writing

Basiliso Moreno:

class which is why I got the book and kind of like paid

Basiliso Moreno:

for things or going out. I went to like

Basiliso Moreno:

fast and use business credit to

Basiliso Moreno:

go to conferences and things like that use it for

Basiliso Moreno:

business purposes. But

Basiliso Moreno:

now is like I'm trying to get customers

Basiliso Moreno:

now with, with my business now and like I have to

Basiliso Moreno:

use my personal money to pay

Basiliso Moreno:

for for. For business credit stuff.

Basiliso Moreno:

It's like that money could be used to uh, like start

Basiliso Moreno:

it or kind of like save like a thing about college

Basiliso Moreno:

or kids and kind of like use the money for other things.

Basiliso Moreno:

So I'd say probably that would be like

Basiliso Moreno:

the biggest thing right now because it's really kicking me in the butt a little

Basiliso Moreno:

bit. I'm managing it but like I'm like

Basiliso Moreno:

it's kicking me in the butt.

Anthony Weaver:

Yeah, it happens. Number

Anthony Weaver:

three, what is your

Anthony Weaver:

favorite financial or non financial

Anthony Weaver:

book?

Basiliso Moreno:

Who.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um,

Basiliso Moreno:

non financial book.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um

Basiliso Moreno:

Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama.

Basiliso Moreno:

Okay. Financial, um,

Basiliso Moreno:

book.

Basiliso Moreno:

Um.

Basiliso Moreno:

Wow, that's good. That's a good question.

Basiliso Moreno:

I loved um, Yaneli

Basiliso Moreno:

Espinal's book that she came out with. Um, and

Basiliso Moreno:

I actually had her um, my podcast. It was

Basiliso Moreno:

so down to earth. Like, literally it

Basiliso Moreno:

was like how she wrote

Basiliso Moreno:

the book is how uh, I speak

Basiliso Moreno:

and kind of like her different scenarios

Basiliso Moreno:

is like, yeah, I literally experienced that like,

Basiliso Moreno:

like gone, uh, to my mom,

Basiliso Moreno:

to the, the

Basiliso Moreno:

social service offices known at at the time

Basiliso Moreno:

in the 80s 90s as a face to face appointment.

Basiliso Moreno:

So I know I'm old enough to know the

Basiliso Moreno:

words face to face. So,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, so just

Basiliso Moreno:

real and be able to put myself in those

Basiliso Moreno:

shoes. Like if I wrote it, that was me. And

Basiliso Moreno:

like, and it

Basiliso Moreno:

was great having her on the podcast talk about the book too. So I

Basiliso Moreno:

will say that, um, now, um,

Basiliso Moreno:

started reading um, Giovanna, uh, Gonzalez's

Basiliso Moreno:

book, uh, the Cortura. I came

Basiliso Moreno:

so I'm starting to read her book. I forgot the name of the title

Basiliso Moreno:

but uh, definitely um,

Basiliso Moreno:

like has Latinos and culture

Basiliso Moreno:

plays a big part in our finances. And I was

Basiliso Moreno:

definitely drawn, I'm drawn to that. So I'm looking

Basiliso Moreno:

forward to reading that book as well.

Anthony Weaver:

Yeah, you know, this book is uh, that's on my list to

Anthony Weaver:

read, uh, for later

Anthony Weaver:

October, uh, probably beginning of November.

Anthony Weaver:

Awesome person. I met her several times. She's really

Anthony Weaver:

cool. All

Anthony Weaver:

right, uh, number four, what is your

Anthony Weaver:

favorite dish to make?

Basiliso Moreno:

Uh, I got this Instagram

Basiliso Moreno:

recipe, ah. About honey, uh, glazed

Basiliso Moreno:

salmon. So ever since I

Basiliso Moreno:

started, oh, I could do this and I like

Basiliso Moreno:

eating salmon. Just put it in the air fryer

Basiliso Moreno:

came out nice and crispy. They used like

Basiliso Moreno:

some uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

some like little bits cinnamon, like

Basiliso Moreno:

cumin pepper. Uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

obviously honey, um,

Basiliso Moreno:

you just like literally like take a brush,

Basiliso Moreno:

glaze out both the front piece and the skin piece

Basiliso Moreno:

and put it together and I think I'm missing an ingredient.

Basiliso Moreno:

Uh, but yeah, been making that.

Basiliso Moreno:

I, I haven't made a baked chicken in a while,

Basiliso Moreno:

but that, that was like my staple for a long time. Just take

Basiliso Moreno:

some like three quarter pieces of

Basiliso Moreno:

chicken and like you just

Basiliso Moreno:

put it in the season it real well and like

Basiliso Moreno:

put in the oven and people like my

Basiliso Moreno:

baked chicken. So the point, my wife was like, when you gonna make that? You

Basiliso Moreno:

haven't made that in a while.

Anthony Weaver:

It might be a sign you might need to make it.

Anthony Weaver:

Um, awesome. And this is going to be the very last

Anthony Weaver:

question of the show, which is where

Anthony Weaver:

could people find out more about you?

Basiliso Moreno:

Yes. So I'M on, uh, Instagram,

Basiliso Moreno:

um, threads,

Basiliso Moreno:

and, um, TikTok at

Basiliso Moreno:

Bass Moreno Consulting. That's, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

all one word. Um, my podcast has

Basiliso Moreno:

a, has its own IG page, the Social Work

Basiliso Moreno:

Rants podcast. That's all one

Basiliso Moreno:

word. Um, my website, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

bassmoreno consulting.com.

Basiliso Moreno:

um, I'm looking for clients. So if you're in that

Basiliso Moreno:

sandwich generation, uh, caring

Basiliso Moreno:

for kids and an elderly parent at the

Basiliso Moreno:

same time, I'm looking for you, uh, offering a free

Basiliso Moreno:

25 minute consultation to how

Basiliso Moreno:

money and mental health,

Basiliso Moreno:

emotional aspects affect, you know, your

Basiliso Moreno:

wealth, um, and money. And talk about

Basiliso Moreno:

what are you currently struggling with right now, what's you're like, your number

Basiliso Moreno:

one thing you want to, like, achieve and kind of,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, work is on finding ways to solve

Basiliso Moreno:

that problem for you. So, bashmarino, uh,

Basiliso Moreno:

consultant.com, uh, and again on,

Basiliso Moreno:

uh, more LinkedIn, type in my full

Basiliso Moreno:

name. Basilisa Mar Moreno. Yeah, there's different

Basiliso Moreno:

ways to contact me.

Basiliso Moreno:

Awesome.

Anthony Weaver:

Uh, man, Bass, it's been

Anthony Weaver:

an amazing time and thank you so much for pouring

Anthony Weaver:

your, uh, all into this episode because

Anthony Weaver:

this is something that, you know, is still a

Anthony Weaver:

touchy topic, not just for you, but so many people

Anthony Weaver:

who have experienced loss, uh,

Anthony Weaver:

especially when you trying your best to even take care of yourself.

Anthony Weaver:

And the sandwich generation is just something that

Anthony Weaver:

we all have to really take a

Anthony Weaver:

deep dive in. Take a look into what our personal

Anthony Weaver:

finances are and how that we can actually

Anthony Weaver:

support our parents during this time frame, support our

Anthony Weaver:

kids, and emotionally support ourselves.

Anthony Weaver:

All right, Bass, well, thank you so much again, y'all. Uh, have

Anthony Weaver:

a good one and thank you. Take care.

Basiliso Moreno:

Peace.

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About the Podcast

ABOUT THAT WALLET
Helping You Build Strong Financial Habits!
About That Wallet is a financial lifestyle podcast hosted by Anthony Weaver. It's designed to help listeners build strong financial habits and make smarter money decisions. The podcast covers a wide range of personal finance topics, including:

Budgeting and saving: Tips for creating and sticking to a budget, and strategies for saving money.
Investing: Advice on investing for the future, including stocks, bonds, and real estate.

Debt management: Strategies for paying off debt and avoiding future debt.
Financial planning: How to set financial goals and create a plan to achieve them.

The podcast often features interviews with experts in finance, discussions on current financial trends, and practical tips for improving your financial literacy. If you're looking for a podcast that can help you take control of your finances, About That Wallet is a great option.

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